UPJOKE
seedinseminatesow inbroadcastagriculturefarminghusbandryspreaddisseminatelaypropagatewreakfomentcreateswine

Sows Jokes

What do you have when you have 50 female pigs and 50 male deer?

A hundred sows ‘n bucks.

Jeremy Clarkson on the farm.

After a disastrous first year on the farm Jeremy Clarkson hatches a new plan and gets ten sows and a hog to make lots of piglets.
He calls the vet and asks for any help and what to look for. The old vet tells him if the hog has been successful the sows will be asleep on their backs with all for ...

Farming

A city banker gets fed up with his immoral career so sells up and buys a pig farm in Suffolk with his wife.


He moves in and next day goes to buy a few sows and a boar. 'How will I know the sows are pregnant?' he asks the seller.


"Ah, well, the morning after, the sows be lay...

The farmer and the pigs

A farmer, struggeling through deression, is sitting in a bar talking to his neighbour: "I have no Idea to survive,I own 25 sows but no boar. And I can't afford to buy one or arrange a fertilization. If I'd be able to breed piglets, i could sell them and make money.." The neigbour sais: " No Problem,...

A farmer drives to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocks on the door

A boy, about 9, opens the door.

"Is your Dad or Mom home?" asks the farmer.

"No, they went to town."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" 

"No, he went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stands there for a few minutes, shifting his weight from one foot to the o...

A farmer takes his pigs to the breeder

A farmer one day decides he’d like to multiply his pigs but only has two sows, so he takes them to a farm a ways away with some impressive hogs to breed them with.

He gets there on the first day and after the deed is done he asks the other farmer “Say, how will I know it worked” to which the...

A constable receives notification about a theft from McGregor's farm near Nottingham. The dispatcher tells him that farmer McGregor reports the theft of 2033 pigs...

The constable starts writing the report, but decides to double-check the exact amount of the pigs. He calls McGregor and asks: "Mr McGregor, are you absolutely sure that there were 2033 pigs stolen?"


"Oh, yeth, conthtable, abtholutely!" McGregor answers.


The constable thanks hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A city boy spends the summer with his country cousins on a farm....

After a couple weeks the city boy asks his country cousins what they do for sex? The cousins explain they go down to the pig pen after dark and have their way with one of the sows (that is a female pig for you city people).
The city boy says No Way! The cousins tell him it’s really good he shoul...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rabbit is being chased by a bear

and just as the bear was about to catch him, they trip over a fabled genie’s lamp. Having brushed the lamp, a genie appears and promises to grant the rabbit and bear three wishes each.

Before the rabbit has a chance to speak, the bear shoves him aside and tells the genie how hard it is to fin...

Farmer Browns pigs

Farmer Brown has a bunch of pigs that are all female. He decides to breed them to increase the size of his herd. So he calls his friend farmer Jones and asks if he can bring his sows over to mate with farmer Jones' boars. Farmer Jones agrees, so next morning, farmer Brown loads all his pigs into ...

A Tv-crew is sent to interview a farmer before the election.

"Could you please share with our viewers, how has the past year been for you?"

"Well, you know I can't complain. I had a very good harvest of wheat, so my family definitely won't go hungry. My vegetable patches brought in amazing organic crops, I was able to sell those at a good profit. And ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.