UPJOKE
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Dated a Greek god, now I have cold sores

Thanks a lot, Herpules

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A guy with no arms walks into a bathroom….

So there’s a guy washing his hands and the guy with no arms says “hey man I’m a lil embarrassed, do you think you could help me out.” So he says sure, unzips the guys pants for him pulls his wiener out for him and it’s just the grossest most disgusting thing he’s ever seen, it’s all red and has open...

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Why don't astronauts like open sores on their penis?

They burn upon reentry.

I went on a blind date where her online profile said she had an infectious smile.

Turns out they were cold sores.

1 in 3 people get cold sores. That's a lot of people. You can tell it's a lot of people because the term "cold sore" caught on.

If 1 in 10 people got them, 9 in 10 people would say "Cold sore? Ohhhhhh you mean your mouth herpes".

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The Position

A young woman with oozing sores on her elbows and knees went to see a doctor. "You've got to help me," she said. "These sores won't heal. I can't wear any long sleeves or slacks, and they look awful." The doctor consulted his medical books and finally said, "I can only come up with one question to h...

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why did the gynecologist go to Jurassic Park?

to see the vagina sores

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