My coworker said her throat was itchy

So natural response is , it’s probably those kids in there playing tag

And now I have a meeting with HR

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A woman goes to the doctors With an itchy vag

The doctor says here’s some cream to rub on twice daily and it will go,so she gets home and gets a mirror out of the bathroom Squats over it so she can see better and starts to put it on the cream,moments later the husband comes through the bedroom door and runs over and violently pushes her away sh...

My wife was wondering why she was so itchy

I was wondering why she pronounced it with a silent b...

A man tells his blonde girlfriend that his scalp is itchy.

Worried, she calls her mother and asks what to do. She replies calmly, “Just give him some Head & Shoulders.” She agrees, but calls back about 30 minutes later, “Umm... how do you give someone shoulders?”

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Anyone know where I can get some ivermectin?

I don’t have Covid, but I am a little hoarse with an itchy butt

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Fact: If you have itchy bum in the evening

You will have smelly fingers in the morning

What do you call a number that's red and itchy?

rational.

What do pigs use when they get itchy?

Oinkment.

What do Asians have when their scalps are itchy.

Rice

Wise man once say: sleep with itchy bum...

Wake up with smelly finger

Why was the clock always so itchy?

Because it had tiks

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Once there lived a horny man (NSFW)

There was once a horny man, who always wanted to suck the Queen's tits. He kept fantasizing, but he knew that he could never do it. He got a friend who was in the King's Palace, so he decided to ask him for help. The Friend agreed to help the horny man to fulfill his dream, but the horny man should ...

Jon Snows going to feel itchy during the GOT season finale!

What else would you expect with aunts in your pants?

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NSFW How do you stop an itchy asshole?

Take away his heroin.

In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

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A horny old cougar is getting help with her groceries by a strapping young bagboy.

A horny old cougar is getting help with her groceries by a strapping young bagboy.
As he's pushing the cart through the parking lot, she rubs up against him and says
"I've got an itchy pussy..."
The guy doesn't say anything and just keeps pushing the cart.
She rubs up on him again and r...

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What do you call an arachnid that constantly complains about its allergies?

Itchy bitchy spider

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Confucius says - He who goes to bed with itchy butt

Wake up with stinky fingers.

Just remembered this from when I was 13

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My 105-year-old grandmother's favorite joke

A bag boy is pushing a woman's groceries out to her car. She thinks he's kind of cute, so she taps him on the shoulder and whispers "I have an itchy pussy."

He shrugs and says, "Sorry, ma'am, all those Japanese cars look the same to me."

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A man wants to commit suicide because he only has one leg

As he wants to jump out of a roof and looks down, he sees a man with no arms that is dancing and jumping around and looks happy. He gets confused and wonders..."why is this guy that happy? Dancing with no arms?" He decides not to jump and goes to the guys and asks him:
"How can you be that happy?...

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What do you get when you cross a cat with poison ivey?

An itchy pussy!

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An uncomfortable circumstance.

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed, and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised, and he was quite itchy down ther...

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A notorious womanizer left a trail of broken hearts behind him, until he betrayed the wrong woman - a practicing witch.

The morning after she caught him with another girl, he awoke with an itchy bump in the middle of his forehead. He thought it was a pimple, but it continued to grow to ridiculous proportions throughout the day. In a panic, he sought the advice of a physician, who examined the man and ran tests on the...

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Whenever I ask my friend what the first number in Japanese is, his allergy acts up

He always says, "It's itchy."

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Confucius say...

...man with itchy asshole have stinky fingers.


...man who fish in other man's pond often catch crabs.


...baseball wrong. Man with 4 balls not walk.


...man who fart in church sit in own pew.


(Feel free to add more)

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A family was having dinner when the topic of sex came up.

Teenage son: I know sex feels good for both people but does it feel better for the man or woman?

Mom replies: What feels better, an itchy ear or your pinky finger?

What is the definition of pain?

A one armed man hanging off a cliff with an itchy bum.

My wife was complaining the other night.

She said "I'm all itchy."

I told her "The B isn't silent."

Maybe she'll let me back in the house next week.

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A nymphomaniac goes to the grocery store

and gets horny looking at all of the cucumbers and savory meats. When the hot bag boy offers to carry her groceries to the car she can’t help herself, and whispers in his ear, “hey, I’ve got an itchy pussy.”

He says, “you’ll have to tell me what color, ma’am, because all these Japanese cars l...

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A woman is walking out of the store after grocery shopping...

The bag boy offers to help her to her car with the many bags she has. As they're walking through the parking lot, she drops a bag and a tube of Vagisil falls out. Embarrassed and red-faced, she explains "Um...I have an itchy coochee..."

The bag boy says "Look lady, you'll have to point your c...

John wanted to kiss a princess, so he asked Paul for help.

Paul agreed, as long as they split the profits. Paul then made an itching powder and put it in the breakfast of the princess. When her mouth itched, Paul declared to the King that John had saliva that possessed healing powers. The King paid John to heal the princess, and John French-kissed the princ...

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A woman is buying groceries

A woman is buying groceries and while in the check out line, she becomes quite aroused by the good-looking bag boy. She tries to make eye contact, but he doesn't notice. She drops her purse on the floor and bends over to give him a look at her breasts, but he only keeps bagging her groceries. So ...

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A 40-something, horny woman is checking out at a grocery store

There is a 20 year old, handsome bagger, who asks her if she needs help out to her car. She looks at him and immediately says yes.

As they are walking, she leans over and says, "You know, I have an itchy pussy."

He responds, "You'll have to point it out, ma'am. All those Japanese car...

What would the Simpsons do...

If their clothes were itchy and scratchy?

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A cougar....

A cougar is feeling a little frisky and decides that young Johnny at the store who bags her groceries will be her next conquest.

After she pays for her groceries, Johnny is wheeling the basket out to her car. She leans over to him and says in a low voice, "I have an itchy pussy!"

John...

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What Color Is It?

A good looking soccer mom was shopping at the grocery store feeling lonely and horny.
In the check out stand she noticed a young bagger and thought she might approach him.
When he asked if he could take her groceries to her car she excitedly said, "Yes."
As they headed to the door sh...

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A man was contemplating suicide on a bridge.

A man was contemplating suicide on a bridge when he looked down and saw a little man with no arms dancing. This cheered him up and made him change his mind about suicide.

When he got down off the bridge he approached the little man to thank him. "Thank you, I was going to jump off the bridge...

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A farmer takes his donkey to a vet

A farmer takes his donkey to a vet, as the donkey hasn't been keeping well. The vet gives some pills to the farmer and tells him.

"Take a hollow tube. Put two pills in the tube and blow the pills into the donkey's throat".

Next day, the farmer returns to the vet, all itchy and red blo...

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There was this 80 year old virgin...

There was this 80 year old virgin that started getting itchy... down there....

So, she goes to the gynecologist. The dr does the examination and reports "ma'am, i'm sorry to tell you, but it appears you've contracted an STD. We'll need to do further testing to confirm." The lady is outraged! ...

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A woman is at the checkout line in the grocery store...

And notices the bag boy is a real stud. Thick muscles under his smock, but his gorgeous blue eyes looked bored above his chiseled jaw. She slyly undid her top button to show some cleavage, but he never looked her way. Finally she purrs out a request for him to carry the bags to her car.
As they...

The tale of two gnats

So a gnat is on a vacation and he sees another gnat but he looked beat up with bruises all over his body. He walks over and asks him why he looks the way he does.

"Well," says the beat up gnat, "My living conditions are terrible. I live in this biker's mustache, and if holding on while he's r...

Did you hear about the chiropodist who got bored and moved out of town?

He got itchy feet!



I am so, so, sorry.

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NSFW A woman was eying the buff lad carrying out her groceries...

Not able to keep her passion in check any longer and says to him, "Ya know, I've got an itchy pussy." To which he replied, "Ma'am, you'll have to point that one out 'cause all them Japanese cars look the same to me."

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A young man decides to kill himself by jumping off a building.

Once he reaches the top, he goes to the edge and sees a homeless old man with no arms jumping, cheering and dancing around on the street. Intrigued by the old man's joy, he comes down the building and asks him.

Young man: "Excuse me, sir. I thought about ending my miserable life today but the...

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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?

An itchy, twitchy twat.

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My girlfriend said she wanted a mouse pad for her birthday.

Pretty weird, I thought. Surely that would make her vagina really itchy.

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A horny old woman...

was leaving the supermarket with a teenage boy carrying her bags. As she eyes the firm young boy with lust, she says "I thought you might want to know that I have an itchy pussy". The boy replies "just point to it lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me".

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An itch in the knee?

A Japanese father and son were stationed at a siege tower to guard the tower's hatch. Suddenly, the father felt an itch on his left knee.

Back in the day, the Japanese thought that having an itch in the knee was a bad omen, often signifying an imminent enemy attack.

He knew that ther...

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A cougar is at the grocery store.

She fills her cart with all the items on her list and gets to the cashier. While her groceries were being rung up, she happened to glance over and notice the young strapping 17-year old high school boy carry out that was bagging her groceries. She was quite taken by his good looks and build so she t...

Lancelot!

Lancelot, the chief knight of King Arthur, wanted to spend some time with Queen Guinevere. He couldn't, however, get her away from Arthur, so he calls Merlin the wizard to help him.

"I want to be with the Queen, help me"

So Merlin pours some itchy powder in her underwear. Soon, the Que...

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