Today I dislocated my shoulder

It’s ok, I found it behind the sofa

Stephen Hawking went on a date the other day.

When he went back to his family, he had a dislocated shoulder, 2 broken ribs, and a popped kneecap. It was because she stood him up.

Sam and his wife

Sam called his wife and said to her in a weak voice, "Hey baby, I was driving to a coffee shop to meet Mary when all of a sudden, a stray dog came in the way. I tried to steer left to avoid running it down, but the car skidded due to high speed, rolled over and almost ran off the cliff. The car was ...

A fisherman and his fish

A fisherman caught a fish so big that he dislocated his shoulders describing it.

What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids?

A dislocated hipster.

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