UPJOKE
gapegawpgawkeyemonocularbinocularsinuitantlerplasticsnow blindnesschemicalchemistrywoodworkinglookswimming

Goggles Jokes

Use swimming goggles

They will change your swimming view

I bought some high tech goggles...

I bought some high tech goggles the other day that help you see in the dark.

As soon as I put them on, everyone went green with NV.

How do you get "Beer Goggles?"

You put alcohol in your "Drinking Glasses."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do redditors wear goggles during ?

To keep the mace out of their eyes.

Why was the teacher wearing sun-goggles in the class?

Because the students were such a bright bunch of kids!

This power washer says you're supposed to wear safety goggles when you use it.

I can't see why.

Kanye West invited me to his presidential rally, I told him I'd only go if I could wear X-Ray goggles, he asked me why?

I said to him, "I already know you're crazy, but now I can see your nuts too!"

I realised at the last minute that i forgot my protective goggles at the nuclear test facility this morning. My line manager saved my vision and shielded me from the intense light!

He's my super visor

Memo from Director General to Manager:

Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleve...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Snowmobile repair

There wasn't a lot of business at Chester's Snowmobile and Small Engine Repair in Kodiak, Alaska. Chester decided to close early on a Thursday to go home and open a bottle of wine.

Just as he was clicking off the "Open" sign, he heard a rumbling clatter in the distance. He stepped out front...

"Cleanliness" is next to "godliness." No, it's not...

"Cleanliness" is next to "cleavage." And "godliness" is next to "goggles."

The US Marines, Delta Force and the Harris County Sheriff's Department are on one of those team building weekends out in the woods.

The US Marines, Delta Force and the Harris County Sheriff's Department are on one of those team building weekends out in the woods.

First night and the instructor says "Right guys. First night out in the woods! Your first test is to go catch your dinner. I want each team to go out and catch a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde gets on a plane with her friend and they take their seats.

An hour or so after take off, they're handed an eye mask and pillow. The blonde ponders the in-flight entertainment for a moment, then puts on her eye mask and kicks back... when suddenly, the plane violently shakes and everyone starts to scream.

The hull of the plane tears open, ripping off ...

A young man...

had just bought a brand new sportscar. He was sitting at a red light when an 80 year old wearing a half helmet and goggles pulled up alongside him on a beat up, old moped. As they sat there the old guy began to gawk at his car.

“My goodness, sonny” the old man wheezed. “That's a lotta car ya...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Fresh College Graduate Celebrates In a Bar **Nasty**

A young man is celebrating his recent graduation from college with a few buddies in a bar. As the evening progresses, their drunkeness increases as well. Soon they notice an elderly lady sitting at the end of the bar, drowning her sorrows.

Eventually, one of his buddies dares him to go ov...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of Louise.

Once upon a time there was a 7-year-old girl named Louise. Now from a young age Louise had always had an interest in science. Someday she wanted to be an astronaut, to pilot a spaceship, and to explore alien worlds, but she didn't have time for any of those things. You see, Louise's family owned thi...
4 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.