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Snitches Jokes

I heard that in the States that snitches get stitches...

And everyone else has to wait 3 months in urgent care

What do you do to snitches in the snowman mafia?

You ice em’

Why did Harry Potter buy so many golden snitches?

Because they were only a quideach

The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?"

Ummm, "150 points?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you motivate a police dog?

You remind him that snitches get bitches.

The SEC Office of the Whistlerblower should get a new marketing slogan

Snitches get Riches.

I heard a former Azkaban inmate is opening a Quidditch ball repair shop…

It’s called “Snitches Get Stitches”.

I’m repairing my Quidditch equipment with some glue and a sewing kit. Quaffles I can usually fix by gluing them,

but Snitches get stitches

I turned in my doctor for corruption charges when he wouldn't treat my open wound.

He was a good guy but I had no choice. I was losing blood fast and only "snitches get stitches".

What does Harry Potter and inner city gangs have in common?

They chase snitches

What Makes Harry Potter a Great Mob Enforcer?

He is the best at catching snitches.

A warning to prisoners of the Matrix

Snitches get glitches

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The old painter

A mobster bough a new house in the suburbs and wanted to re-paint the fence.He called a local painter. The painter was 70yo guy. He took one look at the mobster and thought "This guy surely is dumb - I will ask him for triple the normal price" and so he did.The mobster who was not as dumb as he look...

A magical teddy bear decided to go for a walk

The bear decided to walk down the street and he stumbled across an alley where he heard some weird sounds. Being a teddy bear, it figured no one would care if it saw them as long as it acted natural. So it went to see what was happening.

The bear noticed an infamous criminal beating a man to...

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