Shocking Jokes

I had no idea he was a comedian.

Apparently they still have 500 million users.

Most people are shocked when they realize theyre not an electrician.

They found blood in his drugstream.

I think it's shocking how many people bring a knife on a date.

Maybe Shatner wasn't the best brand name

He was grounded.

A: It came out of the Blue.

Never knew he was a barber.

News reporters visit the hen for an interview. “This is amazing,” they tell the hen, “a two pound egg, that’s unheard of!

Do you have any goals for the future?”

“Yes, I’m really aiming for a four pounder!” says the hen proudly.

“And you, sir, congratulations,” the reporters app... read more

Number 13 will scare you!

Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"

Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"

Father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.
Sa... read more

He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chicken congee.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowboy, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowb... read more

Electricity

The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.

The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.

Adults

Nobody reads Russian names

"Deer *god*!"