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Shocking Jokes

Shocking to hear about Russell Brand, isn't it?

I had no idea he was a comedian.

Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo this morning?

Apparently they still have 500 million users.

Shocking story

A small kid asked his wealthy self-made friend (that is also a small kid) the secret behind him making hundreds of dollars everytime he speaks to an adult that he knows, and his buddy replied "the secret is telling the adult I know everything, they will simply tell you to keep your mouth shut and ha...

A shocking revelation…

Most people are shocked when they realize theyre not an electrician.

Keith Richards went to the hospital for a checkup today and the results were shocking.

They found blood in his drugstream.

Whenever I see two lovers names carved into a tree, I don't think it's sweet.

I think it's shocking how many people bring a knife on a date.

Sales of William Shatners new line of women's lingerie have been shockingly low

Maybe Shatner Panties wasn't the best brand name

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was a long day at the gates of heaven, and St Peter was ready to go home

The final man in line walked up. He was a little man, wearing a tuxedo which looked like it had been scorched, and he was holding a golden baton. The man's appearance was otherwise unremarkable, but for the gigantic, shit eating smile on his face.

"What happened to you, sir?"

"I got ...

What happened to the intern electrician after accidentally shocking himself bc he forgot to wear PPE?

He was grounded.

Q: What was most shocking about Cristiano Ronaldo's return to Manchester United?

A: It came out of the Blue.

A barber in my town was arrested for illegal drug trade. It was shocking, I have been his customer for years.

Never knew he was a barber.

I just saw a shocking headline about a man in west New York State that was arrested for bestiality.

"Animal Predator Busted in Buffalo"

A hen lays a shockingly huge egg.

News reporters visit the hen for an interview. “This is amazing,” they tell the hen, “a two pound egg, that’s unheard of!

Do you have any goals for the future?”

“Yes, I’m really aiming for a four pounder!” says the hen proudly.

“And you, sir, congratulations,” the reporters app...

Top 20 shocking facts you need to know about Triskaidekaphobia!!!

Number 13 will scare you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An interview with an old man .

An 80 years old man had an interview with the local TV channel and they told him : old man can you tell us about a happy memory from your youth ?

Old man : one time my donkey got lost and all the village went out to search for and when we found it we were so happy we all fucked it .

J...

Rocking Mum,Shocking son

Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"

Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"

Father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.
Sa...

A young cowboy walks into the saloon.

He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chicken congee.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowboy, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowb...

What is the most shocking city in the world?

Electricity

I was shocked when the Republicans wouldn’t vote to convict Trump on his second impeachment.

The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.

The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.

Today I discovered a shocking side effect of vaccines.

Adults

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shocking statistics show that somebody in London gets stabbed every 72 seconds

Poor bastard

Experiment made by Russian scientist Vazilikyev Karaazuruvsky reveals shocking information

Nobody reads Russian names

A Pagan sees a particularly shocking event ...

"Deer *god*!"

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