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Stunner Jokes

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.”

He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bumped into an old school friend today

I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.

Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."

He said...

My 5 year old hates Sushi. He came up with this stunner last night.

What rhymes with Sushi?

Tushie!

I used to date a girl who worked at an abattoir.

She was a stunner

Was talking to an uncle of mine at a wedding

The night was getting on and we were each a couple pints deep.

My eyes were starting to wander and he caught me looking at a good looking girl with a fair bit of fake tan on

I look back and see him glance at her before giving me a cheeky wink

“Jeezus” he goes “ye young ones are ...

A gorgeous woman walked into a bar and a man started hitting on her.

The woman didn’t like it so she told him to stop but he wouldn’t stop - so she pulled out her taser on the guy.

Unconscious, the guy is pulled aside by the bartender, and the woman leaves. The man wakes up several minutes later, and the bartender asks him if he’s okay.

The man replie...

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all die and end up at the Pearly Gates...

St. Peter welcomes them all in.

He says, as per standard Heaven protocol, for your first 100 years you get one of anything you like, unlimited, with no consequences.

The Englishman says "Well I really like sex, can I have 200 horny 18 year old stunners to play around with?". St.Peter...

NSFW While I was sitting in the bar one night drinking alone

A stunner of a woman walked up to the bar sat down right next to me. A booty to die for and rack that hadn’t fallen yet, I couldn’t help taking a glance at her. She smiled back at me, and not in an unkindly way.

I asked if I could buy her the next drink. She accepted. We started talking. She ...

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2 Guys Were Sitting On The Train

When one guy pulls out his phone and shows a picture of his girlfriend and says to the other guy “hey man check out my gf, isn’t she beautiful?”

The second man, somewhat confused at why this guy is showing him a photo of his girlfriend replies “Wow if you think she’s beautiful you should see...

[NSFW] A Wealthy Surgeon Goes Golfing with His Buddies

Feeling particularly braggadocious, he starts showing off his new Ferrari.



"It cost over $200,000! The interior is amazingly luxurious, and the paint color is a limited edition. Naturally, it's incredibly fast as well."



One of his buddies, a mechanic, asks him if it can...

I ran into an old acquaintance from school the other day.

He always liked to brag and the years didn't change that as he stood there telling me about how great his life is. He told me about how he landed this miracle job, he showed me pictures of his flashy Mercedes, his house in the countryside then showed more pictures telling me to "take a look at my go...

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Stormy night

This bloke was driving down a country lane at night in the pouring rain when his car brakes down. He can see nothing around except a little farmhouse. He walks up to the door and knocks. A little farmer answers the door and asks if he can help. "My car has broken down and I need to use a phone. Can ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar full of gorgeous women

As he's waiting for his drink he keeps looking around the bar, not believing his luck. Every single girl here is a 10/10. He doesn't usually have much luck with the ladies, but surely the odds are in his favour tonight!

An average looking guy drinking a beer at the bar notices him staring at ...

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