Why is the number 10 traumatized?

It was in the middle of 9/11

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Sean Connery was so traumatized he stopped giving oral sex

After that time he told a woman to sit on his face.


(Might be old, but made me laugh nonetheless)

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When I was about 9 years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a friend of his, someone who I didn't even know.

When we got there, I stayed in a corner waiting for the time to pass.

Then a man approached me and said, 'Enjoy life kid, be happy because time flies. Look at me now, I didn't enjoy it.'
Then he passed his hand over my head and left.

My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodb...

As a child I was traumatized by the priest

He was cheating on me

Supermarket cashiers must be really traumatized if they land in the ICU

Beep, beep, beep...

As a child my priest traumatized me.

He cheated on me with another altar boy.

If you get traumatized by K-pop...

...Do you get BTSD?

I was slightly traumatized while canning some food.

It was a jarring experience.

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I think my bathroom might be traumatized....

I don’t know, it just looks like my toilet has seen some shit

Traumatized son

A young boy, an only child no more than ten years old, wakes up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

As he is walking to the restroom, he opens his parents' bedroom door and sees them copulating quite vigorously. The boy screams in horror. The mom throws the dad off and attempts...

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The Tale of Kevin Bopper

Back in high school there was this kid named Kevin Bopper. He was... strange, to say the least. He was that quiet kid with long, greasy, dandruff-ridden hair, a face full of acne, and wore a leather jacket- you know the type. The thing that made him stand out, however, was his weird fixation on traf...

Once there was a man and he had 5 dogs.

Once there was a man and he had 5 dogs. Every day he went walking with the dogs. Once day, he met a woman with 5 cats. They got talking and soon they were meeting everyday. They walked from the local supermarket, past the bar and down to the church. They got married and all five dogs married a cat e...

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What did the proctologist do to his traumatized male patient?

He rectum.

When I was bar tending I would tell people this was the worst joke they’ll ever hear that will still make them laugh. I always just called it. “Grandma”

A boy comes home from school one day skipping football practice cuz he isn’t feeling well.
When he gets home he grabs a snack and sits down to watch some TV.
During the show he hears some noises coming from his parents room.
His parents not being home at that time normally he walks down ...

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"Grandpa, tell the story again when you broke a duck's neck with your erection at your brother's wedding!"

Well, children, the year was 1922. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching ...

A man is walking by his son's room, when he hears him praying...

and he decides to poke his head in the door to see what he is saying.

"Dear God, I love Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Bye bye Grandpa."

The father thought this was strange, but didn't pay much mind to it, as his young son was just expressing his feelings.

The next day the man comes...

The most terrifying horror story... ever

Nester absolutely loves horror stories. From ghost and apparitions, to science-fiction, he enjoys reading all of them. One day while he visits a newly-opened bookstore, he got a glimpse on a rather unusual-looking book. A thin, hard-covered novel with no title.

As he examined the book, the o...

A highway cop stops a car that is going too slow

He gets out and goes up to the car, and finds it full of old ladies. He addresses the driver:



"Maam, you were going 20 miles an hour on a 70 mile an hour highway. Going that slow is too dangerous"



"But officer, I was just following the speed limit", she says, pointing t...

Great pickup line...

You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress?

Her: Yes.

You: Wanna Traumatize it?

There was once an angel who was very happy with life because she was very beautiful and she always got to wear pretty, perfect dresses.

One day, when she ran out of clothes to wear, she decided to wash them. When she took her dresses out of the washing machine, she noticed several small pieces of fibre were just stuck randomly on her pieces of dressing.

This incident absolutely traumatized her. She was always known for how pe...

The European Space Agency (ESA) recruits one Dutch, one French and one Turkish astronaut for a space mission

As the mission should last 10 years, they ask the astronauts what they want to bring with them in space.

The Dutch says: "I would like to master a new language, can I bring a Spanish teacher?". ESA recruits the best Spanish teacher trains them and sends them to the space with the others.
<...

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A little boy comes home from school...

... and hears a strange panting sound coming from his parents' bedroom. He opens the door to find his father giving it to his mother, doggie-style. The father makes eye contact with the kid, then, not wanting to traumatize his son, decides the best way to handle the situation is to give the boy a sm...

Why is Jesus afraid of basketball?

Because he was traumatized when he got crossed real hard

A cop sees a car going slowly down the highway...

The cop pulls the car over and sees an old lady at the wheel, and three passengers who look terrified.

"Ma'am, were you aware you were going 34 miles an hour in an 80 zone?"

"I saw it say 34 on the sign"

"Ma'am, that's the route number. Why does everyone in your car look so tra...

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