My uncle got a severe allergic reaction while staying in a remotely located hotel near Barcelona...

he would have died certainly as there were no hospitals close by. Suddenly we heard someone knocking on the hotel's door. Miraculously it was the hotel's in-house doctor.

We were quite amused by how the doctor showed up at the exact time he was needed.

Nobody expected the Spanish...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If you brag about the proportions of your dick on a date, carefully watch her reaction.

Because sighs matter.

I got the weirdest reaction from a girl whenI held the door open for her

She kept screaming things like “who the hell are you!” and “this is the girl’s bathroom!”

—-

Most of my jokes get no reaction...

but dismay

Why was there no reaction when the King farted?

Because it was a Noble Gas

Have you heard Tom Holland's reaction to the end of Infinity War? ***Spoilers***

***Spoilers***
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He was blown away by it!

President Donald Trump said that by 2050 US forces intend to attack the Sun if it does not stop nuclear reactions.

the attack is planned at night or they will just fly from the dark side.

Breaking: Stormi Daniels reaction to president Trumps Syria decision.

Shocked Trump pulls out when he said he would

Why are farmers, who take good inventory of their cows, so efficient at chemical reactions?

Because they have a cattle list.

What was the mans reaction when he was told he could never talk again?

He was speechless.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] A guy wanted to see his wife's reaction by complementing her sister's ass

He did not see anything

Second day, still did not see anything

By the third day he could see a little bit with his right eye

50 dollars is 50 dollars

Every year for 45 years James and Lucille had gone to the state Fair. Every yearJames told Lucille he wanted to go on the helicopter flight. "Its only 50 dollars" he would say. Every year Lucille would say "50 dollars is fifty dollars" and that was the end of the discussion.

On their 46th ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I've translated a popular Russian joke to English , wanna hear you reaction ))

A young boy says to his father "Dad, our math teacher is asking to see you."

"What happened?" The father asks.

"Well, she asks me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answer '63' , then she asks, 'and 9 * 7?' so I asked 'what's the fucking difference?' "

"Indeed, what is the difference?" ask...

The enthalpy change for a combustion reaction is always negative

In other words, fire is hot.

(chemistry joke, hope someone gets it...)

I remember my parent’s reaction when I brought home my first A+ on a test

It was something like “Who’s Lily” and “You aren’t even in AP Biology”

I can't wear any clothes with a crocodile on them because I get an allergic reaction.

I'm Lacoste intolerant.

I failed my chemistry lab exam.

I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.

TIFU by making my customer the wrong sandwich, giving her an allergic reaction.

Whoops. Wrong sub.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Nazi walks into a bar...

A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table.
Barman, he says, "A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there."

As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Occupational Reaction

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped scant inches from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look here, don’t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What was the woman's reaction to finding her husband's Viagra prescription?

She took it really hard.

Two priests go into the shower

In the shower they notice that there are no soap.

One of them says "Il go to my room and bring 2 soap bars" runs naked to the room, grabs 2 bars of soap and when he was running back...

3 nuns show up, first thing he remembers to do "freezes like a statue"..

Nuns look at the s...

I’m having an allergic reaction, quick, get my syringe!

It’s in that book over there, the Epi-Tome

A man has an allergic reaction...

So he decides to go to the doctor to see what the problem is. The doctor runs some tests and tells the man
"I've got good news and bad news. Bad news is you're allergic to peas, but the good news is it is curable, and with monthly treatment your allergy should be gone in about 7 years."
"Grea...

I'll never forget my friends' reaction when we were younger and I told them Santa wasn't real

They said "How the hell have you gone 21 years without knowing this?"

How often do I make chemistry jokes?

Periodically. I made one yesterday, but it had no reaction.

I once told a chemistry student a joke..

No reaction.

After my friend died from an allergic reaction to peanuts,

I went to his funeral. Everyone got upset when I put an Epipen on his tombstone.

So I explained:

"It's what he would have wanted"

I would make a joke about I(+2) + I(+3) chemical reaction...

But it would take a while...

What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script?

Speechless

How come nobody at the kings table laughed when he farted?

Because noble gases don't cause reactions.

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law

"Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.

Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.

Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you hav...

I had trouble making friends in college, but then came up with a foolproof plan.

I started telling girls I love them. Their first reaction was to say let’s just be friends.

the Ogre and the Trids

Once upon a time long, long ago there were beings called Trids barely making a living on the side of a hill. They knew, however, that there was a beautiful field of valuable Flurd just on the other side of the hill, and if they could get their hands on some of that Flurd, their lives would improve i...

If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

A man is visiting a prison. Suddenly, on his right, a man yells "20!" And everyone dies of laughter.

After the laughter dies down, a different man yells "5!", getting the same reaction.

When the visitor asks an inmate, "What's going on?", the visitor replies "Well, we've all been here so long, we numbered our jokes. So when we say a specific number, everyone remembers the same joke."

...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A racist man walks into a bar...

He sees a black man sitting casually at the side, and is disgusted by the sight of him.

He then waves to the bartender and says, "I'd like to order a beer for everyone here except the black guy."

As everyone else is treated to a beer, he looks back at the black man in hopes of getting ...

Today I had an allergic reaction to a peanut...

**This title contains content from FINE BROTHERS ENTERTAINMENT who has it blocked on copyright grounds.**

Why does no one laugh when Queen Elizabeth farts?

Coz noble gases got no reactions!

Omg! My first gold. Thank you so much.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Before being ordained, 6 priests had to stand nude with a bell tied to their cocks.

Anyone whose bell rang had no spiritual purity. A naked girl with big tits & a shaved pussy danced before each one. First priest no reaction. She went down the line with no response from them till she reached the last priest, Ralph. Poor Ralph. While she danced he got a stiffy & his bell ran...

What was Trump's reaction to the petition for him to release his tax returns

Not my precedent

A sodium atom undergoes a vigorous reaction with flourine...

How do you feel?" Asks the fluoride ion.

"Positively shell shocked" the sodium ion replied.

I’d tell you a chemistry joke...

but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

A man was caught peeing in public by a police officer. The cop's only reaction was...

"Urine trouble now."

I am getting the worst reactions trying to find workout buddies at the gym... one girl even got up from doing pushups and slapped me right in the face.

All I said was she looked like she could use a push-up brah

Do you want to hear a chemistry joke?

You might not like it though because last time I got no reaction.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An American golfer is asked to compete in a tournament in Japan

As soon as he gets there he starts partying as he has a few days to spare until the tournament begins. He starts dancing with an absolutely stunning Japanese girl and decides that despite the fact she speaks no English at all he's going to try and get her to sleep with him, they start kissing as the...

A girl was failing all her classes in college.

Deciding to try to use her looks to get ahead and get better grades she visited each of her male professors. She had three.

She visited the first one. After flirting a bit and getting some good reaction she decided to flash him. He seemed happy and liked them. Confident that he would raise h...

Two old college buddies bump into each other

Two old college buddies bump into each other at the reunion after 10 years apart. Jack and Hadid used to be thick as thieves back in college, chasing girls, getting into trouble and all sorts of mischief.

Jack was surprised to find out that Hadid also took up a career in stand up comedy and b...

A man writes an OP-ED for his local newspaper.

He goes into great detail explaining why everyone in his town is an idiot and they are ugly too.

Unsurprisingly, it gets a VERY strong reaction. People hate him!

So the next week he calls up his local paper and asks them to publish his OP-ED again in the next week's paper.

th...

One day, a man was worried his wife has a hearing problem.

So before dinner, while his wife was cooking, the man stood behind her at a distance and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"

He didn't see nor hear a reaction. Growing concerned, he stood a bit closer and asked again, "Honey, can you hear me?"

Once again, there was no response, and the wif...

I was grilling a steak earlier and the smell of the juices started to make my mouth water...

Got me thinking, do vegans get the same reaction when mowing the lawn?

Jack, John and Peter was captured by tribesmen for trespassing their teritory.....

The tribe leader ordered the three guys: "Go in the forest and pick a fruit of your choice with ten pieces of it and then return here immediately"

after a couple of minutes Jack returned carrying 10 apples

Tribe leader: "here's what we will do... we will shove that 10 apples to your as...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A 1st grade teacher brings his class out for a science field trip to the local park

At the park, one of the kids screams "oh look! There's a big doggy poo poo here!"

The teacher requests that the class gather around and explains

"Look kids, I just taught you about our five senses haven't I?

Don't just rely on one of your senses to observe the world. We have fiv...