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Shepherds Jokes

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Two shepherds are hanging out watching their flocks...

One says to the other, "my wife is angry at me for shagging all my female sheep."

The other, not feeling particularly sympathetic, replies, "sounds like a ewe problem."

Red sky at night, shepherds delight.

Blue sky at night, day.

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The shepherd and the lost goat

A TV crew was filming a documentary in a small mountain village, and for their ending sequence they wanted to interview one of the many shepherds around.

\- So, could you tell us about a happy memory being a shepherd here?
\- A happy memory... mmmh... Yes, see, there was that time. A goa...

Red sky at night; shepherds delight, red sky in morning; shepherds warning

Minced lamb, potato, onion and carrot; shepherd's pie.

How did the shepherds wife know he was very drunk?

She could see that he was three sheeps to the wind!

Where do shepherds go for a drink?

Bar Bar Black Sheep

What’s the problem with German Shepherds?

You wake up in the morning to find a pen full of Germans in your yard!

Turns out shepherds don't like being referred to as

'ewe people'

What is the fastest way to shepherd’s bush?

Up shepherds leg

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 shepherd in the mountain

3 shepherds are going in the mountain to pasture their sheep for a few months. Two grizzled veterans and one new guy.
After a few weeks, at campfire at night, the new guy, a little ashamed, asks the old ones if they don't miss women...
"Yeah of course we do, but if it gets too much pressur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A shepherd get interviewed for the first time on TV

The press is there to promote local products, and they ask a few random questions:

« So tell us good sir, how would you define a good day in the hills around here? »

The shepherd answers : « Well, there was this one time when one sheep got lost and we hunted it with group beats, found ...

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