Shawn: *yawns* I'm tired

Shaun: *yauns* me too

Sean: *yeans* yeah same

Shawn (yawning): “I’m so freaking tired”

Sean (yeaning): “me too.”

They say one out of every 5 people on the planet is Chinese.

The thing is, there’s 5 people in my family. On of us must be Chinese.
I know it can’t be me. I’m pretty sure it’s not my mon or dad.
That leaves my brothers: Shawn, and Zhang Wei.

Whispers: *I think it’s Shawn...*

3 Men die and go to heaven...

3 men die and go to heaven and when they arrive at the gates St. Peter says to them, "Welcome to the road to heaven. You must travel down this road behind me to reach Heaven, however, the medium of transportation is dependent on how faithful you were to your spouse during your lifetime."
First ma...

Some music transports you to different places

Today I went to a cafe where they were playing Shawn Mendes and I left and went to a different one.

Paddy needed a job

Shawn said why not try a lumber jack?
So off he went to the forman.
Paddy he says if you can do 100 trees a day , you're hired.
Off Paddy went, only 10 trees the 1st day.
Forman says, now Paddy, i have guys who can do 100 without breaking a sweat.
Paddy forgoes breakfast and lunch but...

2016 is going off the rails with all the people getting offended. There are even some people who've decided it's racist to say "black paint".

Instead you're supposed to say something like "Shawn, would you please paint that fence?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband a wife are looking to spice up their marriage...

So the husband goes out and buys a sex position book. They’re trying all the positions when they get to a chapter that requires three people. The wife suggests they invite their neighbor, Shawn; Shawn eagerly agrees to join. They’re making their way through the chapter when one day Shawn abruptly ju...

Golfing in Scotland

John , who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn.

So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.

So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wrote this one myself. (It's better then that redtile disfunction joke)

There was a guy named Shawn and he lived near a really little town in the western plains of Texas. This town was really just a dot along a highway and didn't get much traffic at all. There was one gas station, a diner, and a little dollar store with necessities and household items.

Shawn wor...

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