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Malone Jokes

Post Malone Has Started His Own Student Loan Service in an Attempt to Lift the Burden Off of New Graduates

It's called "Post Malone's Post Pone Ma Loans"

Post Malone lost 60 lbs by cutting out pop.

I wonder what kind of music he'll make now.

Post Malone may be a popular rapper, but have you heard of his long-lost cousin Ho Malone?

His most popular track is about some kid named Kevin who has to fight off burglars in his house.

Did you hear about Post Malone falling while performing?

He seems okay now. It was just a stage he was going through.

Why did Post Malone's promiscuous behavior get him the nickname 'Kevin McAllister?'

Because he was Ho Malone.

What will Post Malone's workplace be called?

Post office

I don’t like Post Malone

I’d rather post together!

God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.

"I know for a fact we are gonna win," said God. "We have all the best players up here...Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on."

"I wouldn't count on that, God," said Satan. "You see, down here, *we* have all the referees."

Just Post Malone things

Q: What did Post Malone eat for breakfast?
A: Toast Malone

Q: What did Post Malone spray on before he left the house?
A: Post Cologne

Q: what do you call it when Post Malone invites you to his house?
A: Host Malone

Q: what do you call post-pubertal post Malone?
A:...

Why is Kevin Malone's son named Ho?

He's a big fan of a Macaulay Culkin movie.

What do you call Post Malone after he forgot his phone overseas?

Post Ma Phone

If you've heard of Post Malone maybe you've heard of Ho Malone

It's this classic movie about a young boy who gets left behind by his family at Christmas and has to defend his house from burglars.

Have you met Post Malone's introvert brother?

Leave M'Alone

Do you remember when everyone was worried about Post Malone?

Everyone thought he was on drugs or something, but I’m sure he’s fine. We should just Leave Malone.

Why does Post Malone only perform 6 days a week?

There's no post on Sundays.

What is post Malone’s favorite fruit?

Watermalone

What happened to Post Malone after his unexpected death?

A Post Mortem.

Article on the future of L.A. rapper "Post Malone" was withdrawn from print by local mail service.

Or


Post on post-Post Malone's career and goals was postponed from posting by postal service.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a delayed album release by Post Malone?

Post-Poned!

A dog randomly saved my life a few years ago, I ended up taking him home with me and naming him Malone.

Because I will never be able to pay him back.

Parents: "You better go home."

Post Malone: "Naw."

Parents: "HOME, MALONE!"

Post Malone: "Yeah aight..."

I propose we divide the music of 2010s into two distinct eras, centered around the release of "White Iverson" in 2015.

We could call it Pre- and Post Malone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paddy's last will...

Paddy was on his deathbed and knew the end was near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast.
He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.
When all is ready he begins to speak:

"My...

Macaulay Culkin just released his first rap album.

He's Ho Malone.

Post Malone and his family went out for dinner, while his sister was the only person left in the house. When they came back, they found out the neighbours had started referring to her as a promiscuous woman.

After all, she was Ho Malone.

There are two eras of modern rap...

Pre Malone and Post Malone

What do yo call a tall, muscular Irishman with a temper that you shouldn't mess with?

Liam Malone

What do you call a cheese rapper?

Prov Malone.

Who is r/jokes' favorite singer?

Repost Malone

What is the easiest way for a Rockstar to gain karma?

Repost Malone

I tried buying tickets to a rap concert to see if the bank had processed the loan I requested on my account

They did not Post Malone.

I finally paid off my student debt.

To celebrate, I decided to go to a concert. It was Post Malone.

I’m a big fan of Hip-Hop cover artists

My personal favorite is Repost Malone

What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight?

Liam Malone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New movie about a male prostitute

Hoe Malone

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