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Derrick Jokes

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Derrick goes to Asian night at the club.....

Derrick (a white american) learned that his Chinese friend has an american name (Joey) and a Chinese name (Yao). He has the yellow fever so he tests his luck at the local bar for Asian night. He musters the courage to talk to one of the girls at the bar.






"Hey what's your C...

There once was a young mechanic named Eric, who got a job on an off-shore oil derrick . . .

He wasn't about to be party to a limerick, so he devoted himself to doing the best job he could to assist with the maintenance of all the machinery. He looked after the power generators, the pumps, the hydraulic systems and even did a little work on the electric systems.

One day, Eric was wo...

Three roughnecks - John, Lonnie, and Donnie - were working on a rig in the oilfield...

While they were working one day, John falls off the derrick (the rig tower) and is killed instantly. As the ambulance picks up his dead body and drives away, Lonnie says, "Somebody needs to go and tell his wife." Donnie replied, "I'll do it. I'm good with this sensitive stuff."
 

...

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What Does Your Father Do?

It was 3rd grade show and tell in Ms.Johnson's class and she was going around asking all of the children what their fathers do for a living. Ms.Johnson walks up to the first kid and asks "What does your dad do for a living, Johnny?" to which he responds "He's a firefighter." "Very good, Johnny. What...

I have a pet horse fly

I call him Pegasus

I also have a pet crane fly called Derrick

I briefly had a French cheese fly

A man comes home from work to the sound of moaning from his wife...

...so he runs upstairs and finds his wife naked in bed. She shouts, "Help, help, I'm having a heart attack!" So the man bolts downstairs and as he reaches the bottom, his son comes up to him. "I saw Uncle Derrick go into Mummy's bedroom with Mum and she started making large groaning noises." So he s...

How do you decide who to marry?

**HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?**
**(written by kids)**

**You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.**
**-- Alan, age 10**

**-No person ...

Pig With a Wooden Leg

A journalist on vacation in Texas is driving on his way to do some sightseeing. Soon, he gets stuck in traffic. After slowly inching his way forward, he decides to take a back road. After getting hopelessly lost, he stops at the nearest ranch to ask for directions. Walking up to the ranch, he is met...

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Oral Exam

Two blondes failed math class and have to take an oral exam with the professor. The prof asks the first blonde:

"You are travelling in a train and it is very hot, what do you do?"

"I open the window."

"Great. The train is travelling north-east at 80 miles per hour, and a wind bl...

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