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Gus the Accountant

Gus has been doing accountancy for like 35 years and he's sick of it.

So Gus decides he wants some adventure in his life, so he's going to become a prospector.

Everyday he studies geology, he learns how to drive a big truck and operate an excavator and he starts selling up everything h...

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Bill, Jim Bob, and Ol' Gus

Bill, Jim Bob, and Ol' Gus are sitting around the camp fire one night drinking and swapping stories of their manliness.

Bill says "One time I was out hunting a cougar. Tracked her for miles and came up on a cave. I figured it must be her den so I peeked inside. Saw her cubs but she weren't th...

What did Mario say when his friend Gus was about to be shot in front of him?

Asparagus

What do you call a sick Egyptian?

Sir Cough-a-gus

The word asparagus is funny.



It sounds like an Italian guy begging you not to kill someone named Gus.

In school we had a friend named Gustavo.

He was a blast to be with, but he had an odor. If I had to describe it, fun Gus had a musky scent.

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The Cure

Gus was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

That same day Gus went to the store an...

What did the Italian asparagus say to the man trying to kill him?

Asparagi

Where did the mummy drink his espresso?

In his Sar-coffee-gus

I've started competing in discus meets

I almost won a trophy yesterday. I threw the discus really far, but this other competitor named Gus got my throw erased. He said my throw got lifted by a burst of wind, so he went to the track officials.

This Gus discussed his disgust on the discus.

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