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Sews Jokes

If you're a woman who sews for a living...

You seem stressed.

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

A bad seamstress...

Rips what she sews.

Ed and Tom's Butcher Shop

There were once two brothers, Ed and Tom. They owned a butcher shop together, with Tom in the front on the register and Ed in the back chopping meat.

One fine day, Ed is chopping meat in the back when he chops his finger right off. Ed screams:

"AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A famous surgeon...

...is taking patients, one at a time.

First one comes in:

-Doc, I got a problem. I am a professional discus thrower, but recently I lost both my hands in car accident! Help me, Olympic games are just next month!

-Sorry to hear it, but we don't have male hands right now, only f...

A boy I teach told the class this one.

A man told his son to go chop the wood, so his son goes out and after a while ends up chopping off his finger. His dad puts the finger in a bag and takes him to the doctor. The doctor sews the finger back on and it heals just fine.

The dad tells his son to go chop the wood again, and this ...

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