The doctor said if I keep it on, I’ll get a trophy.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
On a cold and snowy day Jim walks into work with a cast on his right arm...
"Why, Jim! Are you ok? How did you break your arm?" asks Steve.
"Well Steve, I slipped on some ice and fell down my front porch. As for how I'm doing? It doesn't hurt that much, but its made things really difficult." says Jim.
"Really? How so?"
"First off, I can't drive my stick...
John was shocked when he saw his friend Ben fitted out with a cast on his leg and crutches. He said:
John was shocked when he saw his friend Ben fitted out with a cast on his leg and crutches. He said:
- Hey, Ben! What happened to you? You went abroad, right?
Ben: That was the plan but it didn't push through.
John: But why? What happened?
Ben: They beat me inside the ...
A Catholic bishop, a Baptist minister, and a Jewish Rabbi meet in a bar.
The three men sit next to each other and begin talking about life and the aspects of their various faiths. The town they all lived in was in a very heavily forrested area and after a couple of drinks the men have an idea.
Each man puts down a couple hundred bucks and they decide to have a com...
The taxman . . .
At the end of the tax year, The Taxation Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the executive of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little...
I came across a guy changing his tire on the side of the road
So I stopped to help him, his lug nuts were on super tight, so we both pushed on the tire iron with our full weight, which was a mistake, you see, because i lost my balance, and fell hard, with an audible snap!
“Oh my God! My arm I broke my f-ing arm!”
“Which bone?” He asked me, as he ...
A man goes to the doctor complaining that that every part of his body hurts.
The doctors tells the man to show him where it hurts. The man points to his elbow, and says "ow!", then he points to his legs and exlaims "ow!", and then he points to his stomach and so forth until he has pointed to all parts of his body saying that they all hurt.
The doctor determines that ...
A rabbi, priest, and a shaolin monk walk into a bar.
When they sit down, they begin to debate over which of their religions is the correct one to follow.
After much debate and many drinks, the monk has an idea.
"What if we all tried to convert a very wild, very powerful creature, like a bear, to our own religion? Whoever succeeds must tr...
Converting a Bear
A protestant minister, a Catholic Priest, and a Rabbi were in a coffee shop arguing about whose religion is best. After hours of arguing, they agree to go into the woods and convert a bear. They would meet up in next week to see who won.
The next week, the Priest comes in to the coffee shop w...
A man breaks his foot and goes to the doctor...
The doctor put a cast on the foot and told the man to take it easy. The man asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play violin?" Confused, the doctor replied, "Yes, you should be able to play the violin."
The man said, "Neat! I've never been able to play it before!"
A Priest, a Preacher, and a Rabbi...
A Catholic priest, Baptist preacher, and a rabbi were known to meet up every week and talk about religion and their respective churches. One week, they were discussing converting people to their faith and each agreed that people are easily manipulated and that it was no true test of skill and that a...
A female drifter
I'm a drifter, a woman, and you don't find that much, especially in England. I run a scam pretending to be a nanny. Too recently, I had to eliminate some competition for the job. I got in, and got in real good with the parents. Scared the kids. I gave them LSD and forced them to consort with a schiz...
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