UPJOKE
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Embroider Jokes

A woman was working at a lingerie counter when a customer approached with a pair of frilly panties.

"I'd like to buy these," she said, "but only if you can embroider 'If you can read this, you're too close' on the back."
So the saleswoman took the panties to the tailor in the backroom and described the rather unusual request.
The tailor said, "I can do that. Does she want block letters or ...

Embroidery

A young woman went into Victoria's Secret and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this, you're too close!" embroidered on her panties and bra. "Yes, madam," said the clerk, "I'm quite certain that could be done. What kind of lettering would you like it done in?"

"Braille," ...

Amanda: Fred, honey, in your bathroom I found two towels, one with a letter A embroidered on it and another with an F. How thoughtful of you! I used the one with an A, because F is for Fred…

Fred: F is for face.

The Bayeux Tapestry is not strictly accurate historically.

The whole story has been embroidered. Typically, by the winners. Some say it was a stitch-up!

True story! I supervise medical residents and was told one's name was pronounced 'az-wee-pay'.

Embroidered on her lab coat: ASSWIPE

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