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Seasons Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's amazing how Seasons work. I'm in Japan, it's mid December and I'm freezing...

But apparently back in England it's the end of May.


(Edit: an article or the two)

How many Game of Thrones seasons does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eight, if you want to screw it completely.

There’s 5 seasons that exists

Winter, Summer, Autumn, Spring, and Tax Season

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…

Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful. And Christmas!! Everyone loves Christmas!"

Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"

Summer rays, "Yes, but I am und...

There are only two seasons in Russia:

Winter and nuclear winter.

After Rudy Giuliani held a press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, he experienced chest pains.

He was quickly rushed to Mount Sinai Heating & Plumbing.

My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it.

I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.

How many GoT plot writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

I’m not ready to stop laughing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The infamous crime mafia, known only as The Four Seasons, awaited their next job.

The boss stood before them.

"Winter," he began. "I need you to stay *cool* in the face of pressure. *Ice* in your veins," he said, patting his shoulder.

"Now, Summer," he continued. "If the *heat* becomes too much for Winter, use that *fiery* temper of yours to make sure the cops reme...

Four men and their wives are having babies…

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies

A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.”

“That's odd,” answers the man

“I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Trump hold his press conference at the 4-seasons garden centre, between a sex shop and a crematorium?

Because he was between a cock and a charred place.

Some seasons are cold

And summer hot

So I was rewatching old seasons of spongebob and found this joke

Spongebob: *changes his shape to look like Texas*

Also Spongebob: “hey Patrick what do I look like”

Patrick: “stupid”

Spongebob: “no I’m Texas”

Patrick: “what’s the difference”

*both laugh*
(I thought this might be relevant considering the mess in Texas right no...

Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons...

It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada.

I took my date for a romantic time at the Four Seasons..

She was ecstatic and bought several rare seedlings and pots of plants.. 5/5 would recommend!

Why weren't there multiple seasons of crucifixions?

People lost interest after the Pilate episode.

What are the four seasons called in New England?

Almost winter, Winter, Still winter, and 3 months of bad sledding.

Yo mama so fat

She has a watch for every time zone she's in,
When she walks past the tv, you miss 8 seasons,
She beat galactus in a planet-eating contest,
Thanos couldn't snap her out of existence,
Flash died before he could do a lap around her
And she ate a black hole because she was hungry

What do Seasons 1-5 of GOT and The Lion King prove?

Sometimes the greatest stories of our time have a healthy dose of incest

TIL that in most video games it's better to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons

Because that way you don't have to worry about Fall damage

Deer Season

Seven guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Kevin's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later the six get to the camping site o...

We should let Netflix run the next pandemic…

…they don’t let anything last more than three seasons.

People: You can't have all four seasons in the space of 24 hours!

Ohio: Hold my beer.

*inspired by the fact that yesterday it was 74F and had thunderstorms, and today it's 30F and snowing.*

My son was playing a Zelda game and I told him it was more effective to lose health during the summer and winter seasons. Confused, he asked why?

I said, that way you don't take any Fall damage.

[Spoiler Alert]Watched 10 seasons and the truth was right in front of us the whole time!!

The clock at Marshall and Lily's is always at 4:20

The seasons are all mixed up right now. It's supposed to be spring but it feels more like salt.

I'm so wintery

A lot of people say that I don’t have any Friends, but they are wrong.

I have all 10 seasons downloaded on my computer.

It's prom season

So this guy is taking his girlfriend to the high school prom, and he's got a lot of work to do.
First he has to rent a tux, so he goes to the tuxedo store. But there's a huge tuxedo line at the store. Finally, he gets out of there and realizes he has to buy a corsage, so he goes to a florist. ...

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