What do you call a hardened criminal from Crete?

Con-crete

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Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.

The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

Ignoring all that baloney that it might have nanomachimes or something, I took my first vaccine shot into my arm.

Now it hardens in response to physical trauma.

What does Canada do with all their hardened and dangerous criminals?

They give them hockey jerseys and call them our National Hockey Team

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Kanye’s rise to fame

Right before dropping out of college and kick starting his rap career, Kanye West went to visit his wealthy aunt, Shirlie Faulker, who owned a rubber products manufacturing factory on the outskirts of Paris, France. He decided to spend his summer break working at the factory part time while deciding...

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God is creating the world, and he talks to the canadians

He says to them “You will have the best land ever. It is beautiful, in the summer it is warm and in the winter it snows beautiful snow flakes. It is called Canada. You will have prosperity and food for all your days.”

He then gets the Australians, and says to them “I give to you Australia. Yo...

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Three hardened criminals were arrested last night.

They were all on Viagra.

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Two criminals break into a drugstore and steal all the Viagra. The store owners call the police and they put out an alert.

An officer in the vicinity turns to his partner and says “Alright, we’re looking for two hardened criminals”

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Cement Mixer

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass.


Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

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BREAKING NEWS Thieves have allegedly broken into the laboratory at Pfizer to try and steal the new Covid-19 vaccine...

They apparently took a case of viagra instead. The police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.

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I told my friend that a prisoner on Viagra is a hardened criminal. She said something about that doesn't seem right.

I agreed, something is definitely afoot.

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Thieves stole a truck full of viagra this morning...

Police have asked the public to keep an eye out for *hardened criminals*.

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Why did they send the butter to prison?

He was a hardened creaminal

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What do a Retired Plumber and a Battle Hardened Soldier have in common?

You don't know what shit they've been through.

Transporting prisoners

Today in the UK twelve prisoners where being bused to another prison from HMP Stocken. Thay were in collision with a ready mix concrete truck, police are now looking for twelve hardened criminals

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A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on its way to the depot.

The police are warning citizens to be on the look out for a gang of hardened criminals.

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Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

Did you know Ghandi didn't wear shoes and often fasted?

Walking barefoot all the time hardened his feet, but hunger weakened his body and made his breath smell terrible.

In fact, you could say he was a
super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis

An Indian guy and girl meet on Tinder

They get to his place and start making out. The guy is not able to get it up so she goes down on him. After sometime she feels him harden enough so she whispers, “Are you Ready?”

He exclaims, “Wow how did you figure out my caste from blowing me?”

P.S: Reddy is a caste in India,

Gandhi was a well-traveled man..

Unfortunately, the majority of these travels were taken on foot, causing his feet to build up an incredible amount of hardened skin

To make things worse, his minimalist diet (and eventually his age) led him to become very frail.

In light of this, he still offered a surplus of insight t...

The beverage company Nage decided to do something new.

In the tiny village of Mars, Kansas, a new themepark opened on the outskirts of town. Touted as the future of entertainment, the beverage company "Nage" decided to take all their leftover & recycled parts of their product, and turn them into hardened plastic materials to construct their attracti...

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I had a rough upbringing and all I know is crime, my latest job was a Viagra heist at the local pharmacy.

I'm a hardened criminal

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Paddy and Mick go camping...

Paddy and Mick decide to go camping.

They pack their bags with food and supplies and head off into the woods.

After eight long hours of walking, Paddy turns to Mick and asks, “Shall we set up camp?”

“No,” Mick replies. “Let’s keep walking some.”

They move deeper into the ...

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Seaman Jack

Seaman Jack joined the navy. When he was little he wanted to become a carrier pilot, then when he was a teenager he figured maybe he was only good for a rear admiral serving on a missile destroyer, and when he barely graduated high school, he decided well maybe he'll just be a sailor.

And the...

Sudden realization moment

While speaking with my dad, he said to me "Gandhi fasted so long that his frame was rather frail, and when he ate the strangest fruit his breath was often stale, and he walked barefoot so hardened bottoms were his diagnosis."

Oh my God, I can't believe it...

He was a Super Callous Frag...

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Bought a DIY dildo set so I could cast my girlfriend a dildo from my own manhood.

She didn't like it... Takes 24 hours to harden

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Did you hear that the first Viagra crate imported to Britain was stolen?

Police are searching for hardened criminals in possession of swollen goods

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A woman finds a lamp and of course it contains a genie...

... which offers to give her only one wish as he is very much tired from his 10.000 years of imprisonment.

,,I want a million dollars!'' she screams excited.

The Genie nods. ,,It shall be as you wi-''

,,No!'' interrupts the woman. ,,Such a wish is selfish and petty. No, what I w...

What happened to the escaped convict who fell into a pool of concrete?

He became a hardened criminal.

3 years ago during my first reservists training

I am from Singapore and all relatively healthy males need to serve the army for 2 years and 10 reservist cycles

During my first reservists, many of our combat boots start to fall apart due to the adhesive hardening up and breaking apart, thus many of us have to walk to the store to purchase ...

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The teacher asks her class for some examples of medicines tgey use at home

Little Kevin promptly raises his hands and says, "Tylenol! For headaches!"

The teacher says, "Very good, Kevin, anyone else?"

Little Lisa answers from the back, "Um, Ambien, my Mom tells me it helps her sleep...?"

The teacher smiles at her and says, "Good job, Lisa," then turns ...

You hear about the paddy wagon that collided with cement mixer Ed?

12 hardened criminals escaped.

[OC] What do you call a felonious fingernail?

A hardened cuticle lol

The old man, the prince, and the fish.

Once upon a time, there was a prince of a certain land, who wanted to be a lowly fisherman when he grew up. But try as he could, he couldn't ever catch a single fish. He had tried many methods, including nets, spears, and traps, but all to no avail.

Furthermore, he was looked down upon by the...

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Armed robbers have recently stolen a semi trailer full of Viagra

The police had said to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals

While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck.

Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

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Wanna hear about the criminals who stole a truck full of viagra?

They went to jail for 10 years and then became hardened criminals.

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A husband is making jello for his wife...

Wife: "Has that jello hardened yet?"

Husband: "Yeah, it's as hard as my dick."

Wife: "Great! Pour me a glass!"

How are the Houston Rockets just like Metapod?

All they've got is Harden

What do you call a drug dealer in a strip club

A hardened criminal

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In Memory of Ronnie Corbett

Here's some of his best jokes

- A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston by-pass. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals.

- We will be talking to an out of work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.

- A man was maro...

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News, just in: Truck Stolen!

A lorry containing 150 pallets of Viagra was stolen last night. Police are searching the country for a gang of hardened criminals.

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Cadet in the Foreign Legion

A cadet in the Foreign Legion gets sent to a small outpost in the middle of the Arabian desert. There's a small group of hardened soldiers stationed there, along with a group of Bedouins who cook, clean, and tend the camels. On his first night he offhandedly asks what they do for women out there. "W...

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