Car rides and plane rides are just like video game loading screens if you think about it.

Most of the time they both take way too long.

You know you're poor when..

the Flies get together and fix the holes in your screens.

Some drug screens involve taking a strand of hair and analyzing it for illicit substances. It's called a follicle test.

Of course there are guys who try to beat that by shaving their head, but that doesn't work because the lab will just take a pubic hair instead. That's called the phallical test.

So a BMW rolls up on a tesla and says "you wouldn't even run without all those fancy computers and screens"

The tesla responds "OK BEAMER!"”

Blonde dropped and cracked her phone screen.



Blonde 1: "Hey, I dropped my phone and the screen is cracked. Will they be able to fix this?"

Blonde 2: "Is it that bad?"

Blonde 1:: "See for yourself. I'll send you a screen shot."

\*After seeing the screenshot\*

Blonde 2: "Are you kidding me?"

Blonde 1:...

FUN FACT: if you fart and sneeze at the same time

Your body takes a screenshot

As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking

Are you my tinder date?

Jesus and Satan are having a contest

They want to see who is the best programmer.

So the first challenge is screens. It's a tie.

Then Assembly. Tie again.

Web Design. Tie again.

Challenge after challenge nobody is winning. So after like five days the power fails. So they wait for it to come back on. Th...

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