I invented a drink today called ‘the Shutter Island Iced Tea’.

It’s the same as a Long Island Iced Tea, but it has a twist at the end.

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Breaking News: Japanese researchers have developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast...

It can actually capture an image of a woman with her mouth shut.

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Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed...

...that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.

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A Western Omelet

A retired man walks into his favorite diner after it just reopened from a long COVID-19 shuttering, eager to resume his daily routine of breakfast, coffee and reading the newspaper. A new waitress approaches greets him and explains that new contactless policy that eliminates the old plastic laminate...

Thor was viewing the earth, when he saw a beautiful milkmaid. He transformed to human form, descended to earth - and seduced her.

They made love for 3 days and 3 nights, then one morning Thor was stood with his back to her, shuttered sunlight streaming through his golden hair and across his massive frame - the very image of godlike perfection. And he spoke.

“Darling, I must away from this place” he turned round for dram...

There once was a wise old man...

There once was a wise old man in a village. Old beyond memory, he channeled the knowledge of nature and the divine for his fellow townsfolk.


Many came to him with questions, until one day he took a vow of silence, shuttering his open door. Instead, he turned to his untended field. He wou...

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A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost.

It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could

forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.

One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines

covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings i...

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The world's press gathers...

...at a press conference announced by the team at CERN in Geneva. The CERN spokeswoman steps up to the speaking podium and smiles broadly at the assembled reporters, microphones and cameras. She begins to speak.

“Thank you all for joining us today. We have some major announcements to make...

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Bialy and Bagel Factory

The health inspector goes to make his surprise visit to a bialy and bagel factory for it's annual inspection. There, he see a large, hairy shirtless man picking up bialy dough from a conveyor belt and pressing it into his man boob, living the bialy indentation and putting it back on the conveyor be...

How do you know if the camera you just bought was made in Asia?

If the shutter makes a "crick" noise.

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A Married Man Walks into a Brothel..... NSFW

A man gets dropped off by his wife at a brothel, and when he walks in he asks for the biggest black woman that madam has available.

The Madam proceeds to offer the man his pick of any young, gorgeous, and skinny women. But he insists on a large black woman.

The madam eventually sends ...

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A mechanical, electrical and computer engineer were riding together to an engineering seminar .....

A mechanical, electrical and computer engineer were riding together to an engineering seminar when the car suddenly began jerking and shuttering.
The mechanical engineer, said, "I think the car has a faulty carburetor."
The electrical engineer said, "No, I think the problem lies with the alter...

A brunette walks into the doctors office

She is complaining that her entire body hurts. So the doctor asks her to touch her elbow.
The brunette winces in pain
The doctor asks for her to touch her knee
The brunette shutters in pain
The doctor asks her to touch her chin
The brunette screams in agony
Then the doctor says “m...

It is 1538 and the Dissolution of Monasteries by King Henry VIII is in progress...

having broken away from the Catholic church, Henry had angered many adherents both domestic and abroad, and sought to shut down any institutions that swore their allegiance to the Catholic church before he had a revolt on his hands.

He attempted to completely squash all churches, monasteri...

Babe, you're like a camera.

Everytime i look at you, i shutter.

A man is sitting on his couch watching TV...

...when he hears the doorbell ring.

He opens the door, and sees a snail on the doorstep.

"What do you want?" says the man.

"Sir, I am wondering whether you may be interested in some new roller shutters for your home."

The man, furious at being constantly harassed by sales...

Photographers never like it when a camera can't take pictures.

They shutter at the thought.

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