UPJOKE
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Imagine a nascar fan. The image that comes to mind is probably that of a brutish, beer guzzling, loud mouth, hairy, unwashed, unshaven, redneck

And her husband.

One day a baseball umpire brought his son to a game to watch him work. Dutmring the game, the umpire was rude and insulting, even to the point of spitting and cursing the players. At the end of the game he knelt down and beckoned his son to come sit on his knee. The boy refused saying . . .

The son never sits on the brutish umpire.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lord of the rings jokes

What's a musical ensemble comprised of brutish ugly elves? An orc-hestra...

Whenever I see a halfling I'm compulsed to shove them. It's a force of Hobbit.

You remember the talking trees? You never see their boobs because they're ghostly. You know: paranormal Ent-titties.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun, and one brought nothing but a few cough drops.

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobweb...

Jim, John, and Jack die, and meet St. Peter at the gates of Heaven.

St. Peter greets them saying, "Welcome to Heaven. You are free to do as you please, but we have one rule: don't step on a duck."

Amused, the three men laugh and agree. Once through the pearly gates, they look around them, and the place is positively flooded with ducks. They're absolutely e...

A pilot encounters engine trouble during a storm over the Pacific Ocean

In a desperate attempt, he crash-lands on an uncharted island and loses consciousness.

A day or so later, he awakens to find himself bound and being dragged by some native savages to their camp.
The natives are going wild at the spectacle, as he is left in the center of the camp next to a...

A tragedy in the Mystic town

The Mystic town is populated by the human powers, who oddly look like big canisters with labels on them, and is divided into two parts by a huge road. One side of the road is for "General Powers", where guys like Strength, Speed and Agility live. The other one is "Other's" half, where Karma, Qi, Wil...

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