Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...

We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...

Why was the pizza shop constantly vandalised?

It was owned by Germans

Today a large shipment of Chinese dumplings was thrown to the ground and smashed into crumbs by vandals who are unhappy with a change in the savory treat's recipe.

Local officials are said to be appalled by the wonton destruction.

I used to wonder why my history teachers loved to teach about the Roman Empire so much. I think I get it now.

They both hated vandals and goths.

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Some vandals destroyed 60% of my firetrucks.

Fuck.

Did you hear about the vandal who broke into the greengrocers to smash a single piece of fruit?

He got arrested for breaking a nectarine.

White House Lawn Vandalized

Donald Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the lawn, he sees "Donald Trump Sucks" written in urine across the snow. Well, he's is pretty ticked off.

He storms into his security staff's HQ, and yells "Somebody wrote an insult in the sno...

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A young painter once had an old ladder

The ladder was one he’d found in a dumpster a few years before and, since he was poor and needed a ladder, he snatched it up and considered himself lucky. Over time, as he used the ladder on large murals, it would invariably be off-kilter, would not sit flush to the wall, or a rung would slip and ro...

People don’t realize that vandalizing Trumps Hollywood Star is a bad thing

It guarantees him the newest and shiniest star on the walk. Art of the the Deal

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track.""What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector."Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the...

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A Roman, a Gaul and a Vandal are all sitting at the bar in a tavern…

Feeling friendly after a few cups of vino, the Roman stands up and says, “Ad Gloriam Romae, I shall share Rome’s glory and buy the next round of drinks!”
The three happily clink mugs and drink together on the Roman’s coin.
Draining his wine, feeling pleasantly fuzzy, the Gaul stands and says, ...

Did you hear about the mathematical vandals?

They cover the walls in graph-iti.

I vandalized an art major's car today.

Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy.

TIL that in some states, graffiti vandals are fined $100-200 per letter.

So if you make a whole bunch of letters, you could end up with a hefty sentence.

News flash: Vandals destroy street signs

They pulled out all the stops

I was called to school because my 9 year old son vandalized a wall in school's bathroom with a permanent marker again

That's where he drew the line

Mexican dude flees to the US without realizing that Trump's in office.

Mexican dude flees to the US without realizing that Trump's in office. Changes identity and calls himself Ted. Trump throws out all the Mexicans but Ted (who was previously Juan), just graffitis "Still Mexican. Still here." at random places around the country. The cops can't find him but they do kno...

Written on bathroom wall

Three things I hate:

1. Vandalism
2. Lists
3. Sarcasm

Why do people get tattoos in prison?

Because they like to vandalize government property.

Charles ran a successful fur business in early 20th century New York.

He was always humane about the treatment of his animals before they were killed and made sure the rest of the animal didn't go to waste. However, rather than making a massive profit, he'd often donate warm fur clothes to poorer children. He lived comfortably, but always tried to maintain his philant...

My preacher started a sermon with this joke the other week that was actually pretty funny and i thought i would share it with you guys

Alright so in this small rural town there lived two brothers. All of their lives they went around doing horrible things to people that ranged from Vandalism, Stealing, Battery, etc. One day one of the brothers dies and the other brother goes to the town preacher to arrange his funeral and asks him,<...

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A Jew in Nazi Germany Reads a Nazi Newspaper

A Jew is on the bus in Nazi Germany and sees another Jew reading Der Stuermer. He asks him why he's reading that. The Jew with the paper answers
"Look, I got plenty of troubles at home and at work. The only time I can relax is on the bus. You think I want to read stories like 'Synagogues Vandali...

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Boy breaks into White House

He writes on the wall "trump is full of shit".

He gets caught and charged with two counts facing 45 years and 6 months of prison time.

6 months for vandalism and 45 years for unauthorized release of classified information.

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Two policemen are walking down the street in Soviet Russia...

...when they spot a guy standing next to the local Party Headquarters holding a paintbrush. On the wall, he's just written "The government is run by idiots!". The first policeman pulls out a pair of handcuffs and asks the second, "Shall we arrest him for vandalizing public property, or for divulging...

Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?

They prefer to not have windows.

[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. ...

There was an incident at a nudist colony

There was an incident at a nudist colony outside of town. Some vandals had drilled holes into the wall surrounding the colony.
The police are looking into it.

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Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

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Jew sits on a bus in Nazi Germany and reads a Nazi newspaper.

Someone sitting next to him asks "Why are you, a Jew, reading a Nazi newspaper?" The Jew answers "Look, I'm broke, I hate my job. my wife's a terror, and my children are brats. But I get to ride the bus half an hour every day and read the paper. What should I do? Read the Jewish papers, with stories...

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There were these two brothers, always up to no good.

They lived in a small town, where every time something went missing or something was vandalized or any mischief was made - they knew it was these two boys. Their poor mother was at her wit's end. She decided to ask a local preacher to talk to them. He agreed but asked to see them one at a time, the ...

If I had a nickel for every watermelon I've chucked at my neighbors window.

I still wouldn't have enough bail money for a vandalism lawsuit.

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Topical Jokes for April

(didn't post the last batch, so here's all of the recent ones)

4/28
Los Angeles police are looking for a vandal that spraypainted a police horse. The horse didn’t get a good look at the suspect because it was dark, and because the horse has no idea that it’s a cop.

Billionaire Richa...

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An old WWII veteran was speaking with his grandson

and extolling the virtues of being reckless and enjoying life while young.
"When I was your age, I went to Paris with some lads and we had a great time! We had our way with any French women we wanted, pissed on the Eifel tower, and beat the shit out of every Frog that crossed our paths! You have...

A Chinese restaurant is pillaged...

It was wonton vandalism.

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While waiting for road construction to clear...

I decided to make a set of boobs with the tar and gravel. I thought I was going to be in trouble for vandalism. I got 2 years for sexual asphalt.

I believe I created this joke... but who knows nowadays! :)

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