UPJOKE
ringo starrlet it berevolverbillboardtimejohn lennonpaul mccartneyrock and rollrubber soulcapitol recordselvis presleyliverpooltheballadrolling stone

So The Beatles and their producer, George Martin, were in the studio......

Paul: Any ideas on how to end Hey Jude?

John: Nah

George: Nah

Ringo: Nah

George Martin: Nah

Paul: Perfect!

My Dad was a Musician who played with the Beatles all the time.

He had all their albums but that was his favorite.

How did Redbull break up The Beatles?

It gave McCartney Wings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would one of the Beatles say during an orgy?

Cum together, right now, over me.

Did you hear The Beatles were dead?

It's halfway true.

What would The Beatles have been called if Ringo never joined?

The Beatless

What did people say when the Beatles broke up?

Ono

Does a Swede listen to The Beatles?

No, but a Norwegian Would.

I hear The Beatles influenced the COVID19 treatment policy at Italian hospitals...

Live... Let Die... Live... Let Die...

What did Ringo say before the Beatles broke up

Hey guy's can we try some of my songs?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a big fan of the Beatles, in particular Paul McCartney.

I made an account on the official Beatles website and made my profile picture an album of Paul McCartney throughout the years. However an admin told me I was going to be banned, I asked why and was shown the list of rules and the first was "Users are not allowed multipaul accounts."

It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green.

That would've been sublime.

The Beatles are sitting around a table in a diner...

And all of them are happily sat there with their arms around their wives, all except for poor old Ringo.

“Guys? I’m really getting the blues being all lonely here. How do you suggest going about getting a woman?” He asks, drumming his fingers on the table.

John is the first to speak up...

What music didn't the Beatles invent?

Hip Hop, the weren't grasshoppers after all

I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles.

All he got was a stupid street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

What do you call the Russian version of The Beatles "Let It Be"?

So Be It.

What would reunite the Beatles?

2 more bullets

What did the octopus say to his girlfriend at the Beatles concert?

I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand...




Courtesy of my dad when I was 5.

I found out about this cool underground band called The Beatles.

Well actually only about half of them are underground at the moment.

I've never been a fan of the song 'Hey Jude' by the Beatles.

The ending is just too salty.

What is the Beatles' favourite social media site?

REDDIT BE

Shakespeare & The Beatles walk into a pub...

...Landlord says, "sorry mate, you're barred and those guys are banned".

In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook’s right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..

Come together, right now... over Smee.

Why do Flat Earthers hate The Beatles?

Because the Earth is round, it turns them off.

Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die?

Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground

(Taken from Cyanide and Happiness comics)

There once was a man named Mr. Evans who pursued a law degree, even though his passion was music. All through law school, he yearned to drop out and play in a cover band, singing Beatles songs all night to a crowd of fans. Eventually, though the man became a lawyer instead.

Through the years, he became a highly esteemed practicioner of law. He rose in his practice of jurisprudence until one day he even became a county judge. He came home and told his wife that he still wasn’t satisfied. Despite everything, singing the Beatles was still his dream. She told her next door...

I am thinking of making a cover band of Beatles without the drums.

I would name it The Beatles with an extra 's'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People keep talking shit about Ringo Starr's drumming.

But let's be honest: at his time in The Beatles, he certainly was in the drumming Top 4 of The Beatles!

Yo mama so stupid

She sprayed Raid on The Beatles

Before the internet, things still went viral...

For example, The Beatles, among others, spread all over the world.

I guess you could say there were a few bugs going around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 of the worlds best athletes go to Japan to test out their new toilet technology

Ones British, ones French and the other is American, so they get to Japan and they're greeted by a scientist and he shows them the toilet and says, go in, take a shit and it will be the best shit in your life, so the British guy goes first and comes back and says my god that was the greatest shit I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is in a bathroom stall having a shit when he hears the guy in the next cubicle singing.

"Hey," he says. "I know that tune. That's The Beatles."

"Very good," says the guy in the next stall.

"Would you like to hear some of The Stones?" he says.

The guy pauses, and says, "Yes, go on then."

"OK," he grunts. "Let me just push a bit harder."

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

I'm such a hipster...

I'm such a hipster that I won't listen to the Beatles until they're all dead. That way I can say I was a fan when they were underground.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John Lennon at the pearly gates...

St Michael looks at him and says, “I know you don’t I?”
Lennon shrugs and says that it’s possible, yes. St Michael nods and asks where he would know him from. Lennon drawls, “Well, I used to be in a band, you know?”
St Michael asks the name of the band and Lennon replies, “It was a little beat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

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The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It’s mostly drum and bass.

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