The counties of Devon and Cornwall organised a huge music festival with the reunions of both The Jam and Cream.

The festival was called off due to the two counties not being able to agree which should go on first.

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What did the jam say to the bread after the failure of their relationship?

"Your deserve butter."

Why is there drunk bird at the jammed door

Because the repair man asked for a crow bar

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In honor of the jam/jelly TIL on front page... What's the difference between jam and jelly? [NSFW]

I can't jelly my cock down your throat.

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Freudian Slip

A man is going through an airport after buying his ticket, and he walks over to a friend with his head down.

"Ah man, I can't believe what just happened. I had a Freudian slip. Do you see the ticket agent with the huge cans? I accidentally asked her for two pickets to titsville."

His ...

A lorry carrying 300kg of strawberries crashed into a lorry carrying 50kg of sugar.

Instead of helping clear up the accident cars drove through the mess and the jam was getting thicker!

Breaking News - Devon and Cornwall Music Festival

The Devon and Cornwall Music Festival due to take place this weekend has had to be cancelled. They couldn't decide who to put on first, The Jam or Cream

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Delicious

A husband and wife are sitting around one afternoon. The man is a little bored and horny so he turns to his wife.

“Hey honey want to 69?” He asks.

“Sounds lovely,” she replies “but I’m on my period”

“That’s ok with me.”

They go upstairs and start the act. After a few mi...

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Couple doing 69 NSFW

A married couple are doing 69 when they hear a knock on the door. The husband looks outside and sees it's only the paperboy and returns to the bed. The paperboy knocks again. The husband gets pissed off and puts on his robe. Before he leaves the room his wife notices that she has started her period ...

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A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69."

She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care."

They go into the bedroom, and are 69'ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings.

She says, "Answer the door."

He says, "But my face is a mess."

She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the doo...

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A man and his wife were sharing their very first wedding anniversary... (NSFW)

The wife says "Honey, I'll do anything you want for you tonight"

Husband replies "Nice! How about a 69er!"

"I can't, I'm on my period!"

"I don't give a fuck!"

"Well" she says, "if you don't care then I certainly don't, let's do it."

So they are going at it for a bi...

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An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning....

...(coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: 'You English folk eat the whole bread??'

Englishman (in a bad mood): 'Of course.'
<...

Once a half wit homeless man saw a lady buying sanitary pads.

Man: X'cuse me ma'am if you could share some of those bread with me I'll be very grateful.


Lady: Sure. I'll come back tomorrow with the jam on it.

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