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Ribbit Jokes

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing

He is on the second hole when he notices
a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks
nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,
"Ribbit. 9 Iron." The man looks around and
doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9 Iron."

He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog
wrong...

Walking along a pond a heard a turtle ribbit

I guess you could say he has a reptile dysfunction

Did you hear about the new frog movie?

I hear it's ribbiting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

The frog goes ribbit ribbit
The toad goes rub it rub it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Frogs make for good sex toys?

They’re ribbited for your pleasure.

How Did The Frog Sell A Million Books?

Because his story was so ribbiting!

An old man was visiting his daughter and grandson

During the visit, the grandson crawled up into his lap and said "Grandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?"

"Why sure!" the man said & offered several croaking ribbit sounds.

Delighted, the boy jumped down and ran over to a nearby closet, working hard to remove a suitcase from th...

What did the frog order at McDonald’s?

The McRibbit.

One afternoon a man was out playing golf...

He is about to hit a difficult lie next to a pond. suddenly he hear "ribbit, 4 iron". He is alone, so has no clue who is talking. again "ribbit, 4 iron" He looks around and sees a frog looking at him. "ribbit, 4 iron" He says "well I think you are wrong, but what the hell. and hits the 4 iron...

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the golf course frog

A golfer playing a round by himself hits his ball near a pond. As he approaches the ball he notices a small frog right next to the spot where his ball landed. Not wanting to hit the frog, he bends down and moves the frog onto a rock nearby. As he sets up his 8 iron shot, he hears the frog croak 'rib...

What's the difference between a frog giving a speech and the worst thing Netflix has ever done?

One is Ribbit Ribbit the other is Reboot Reboot.

What do you call an angry witch?

Ribbit.

A frog hops into a pharmacy to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks if he wants smooth or ribbed ones. The frog replies....

"ribbit"

A man is out playing golf

And having a real terrible time of it. He lands in a sandbar on the second hole, but as he's trying to wedge himself out a frog says "ribbit, 5 iron". The man shocked and annoyed at the suggestion, gives it a shot and smacks the ball hard as he can. The golfer expects this to have only been detrimen...

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Why are frog dicks the best?

They ribbit for your pleasure.

What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?

A bunny ribbit

Kermit the Frog decided to become a college professor.

His lectures are ribbiting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you’re going to have sex with a frog, use a condom.

If you want the frog to enjoy it...

Ribbit

A frog walks in a bar

The frog sat on the table and the guy next to him ask:
-Are you a frog?
The frog stood there for a slight minute and responded:
-ribbit

Did you guys hear about the frog that became a best-selling author?

His work was absolutely ribbiting.

My wife recently recommended a new nature documentary on frogs...

...but I didn't find it very ribbiting

Did you hear about the play with all the frogs?

It was ribbitting.

How do you detach frogs leg

You Ribbit

What kind of calculus do frogs use?

Der - ribbit - tives

What did the tadpole do when it was being bullied?

It toad its mom.

What did the other young frogs say?

We should JUMP him and RIBBIT him to shreds. Tadpole? He's more like a tattle-pole.

You know what they say, frogs have a hard time holding their tongues.

I think frogs are pretty boring

Unless, of course, they're ribbiting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the horny toad say when designing a sex toy?

Ribbit

*Credit goes to Brian, random guy sitting next to me on couch.

Watched a documentary on frogs today

It was ribbitting

Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians...

Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs?

Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.

One day, a princess kissed a frog...

The frog immediately turned into a handsome prince!

And soon they fell madly in love with eachother.

Before long they were at the drugstore picking out condoms.

The prince noticed that they had three kinds, and, being the gentleman that he was, asked the princess:

"Would ...

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