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Family Reunion Jokes

Everyone at the family reunion got food poisoning

Runs in the family

My brother, uncle, and cousin came to my family reunion in Alabama

To keep things simple, I call him "dad."

Funerals are like family reunions

minus one

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How does 69 differ from a family reunion?

During 69, you only see 1 asshole!

What do you call a family reunion for a dysfunctional family?

A family dysfunction

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Family Reunion...

So a whole huge family is at their annual reunion. The oldest living member of the family "Great Granny" is sitting in a big comfy recliner off to the side so the children don't bother her. Suddenly the 98 year old leans over to the left. Uncle Bill rushes over and straightens her up saying "Dont wo...

Why did the Penguin open his umbrella at Batman’s family reunion?

Because it was a Wayne-y day.

I went to the Calrissian family reunion.

What a bore. Spent way too much time talking to some Rando.

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Family reunion with Dad and stepmom

Dear Mom,


We are having a great time here at Camp Hazardous Hills. Grandpa is making me write to you in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.


Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on th...

A joke my grandma told me at our last family reunion.

Liz and Mary are working hard at their desks. Liz stands up and invites Mary to go outside for a cigarette. They go outside only to find it's pouring rain so badly it would be impossible to smoke. However, Mary pulls a condom out of her purse and puts it around her cigarette and proceeds to smoke...

What makes redneck family reunions so awkward?

Seeing all of my ex's there.

I hate family reunions....

I see too many of my ex’s there

Friendly Crow: How was your family reunion?

Antisocial Crow: It was murder...

The Smith family is having a reunion.

The matriarch is a 110 year old woman who is confined to a wheelchair and cannot speak, so she uses a pen and notepad to communicate.

While watching her great grandchildren play, she begins to leeeaaan to the left. So cousin Joe lifts her back up and puts a pillow on her left side. Later she ...

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During the family reunion, I was walking over to my uncle's table.

But as I neared him, I fell.

I found myself on my uncle's lap when he said,

"Trying to fuck with me?"

Why do children of recovering alcoholics have such big family reunions?

They have twelve-step-parents.

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West Virginia Pregnancy Rate Hits All Time Low as COVID-19 Puts Stop to Family Reunions

Not the Onion

I'm always the life of my family reunions.

It's no wonder they call me the laughingstock of the family.

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One I've never heard outside family reunions.

Three men are in a fiery car crash and all are killed instantly. They go to heaven. At the pearly gates they are met by St. Peter. "There's my favorite dead guys," he says. "Look, there's only one rule here. Don't step on a duck." The gates open to reveal every inch apparently covered in ducks.
...

I had a great time watching "The Worlds Largest Outdoor Family Reunion" yesterday.

I guess most people just call it the Alabama vs Auburn game.

I brought weed and poker chips to my family reunion last week.

Apparently I missed the memo on what a "potluck dinner" was.

What do you call it when you show up near the end of a redneck family reunion?

Speed dating.

Every family reunion we would see our uncle who we called “caveman” we called him that because he was big and hairy and every now and then he would eat one of us

Then we found out he was a bear

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It's always weird when you're in the room with two people you've fucked.

Adds to the family reunion drama, though.

My girlfriend is my Boo

but at the family reunion, she's "Taboo"

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Jerking off normally is called masturbation

Jerking off in the middle of a family reunion is a meat and greet

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Alabamians have the most sex on Thanksgiving

It's usually a family reunion, afterall.

I’m a little jealous of everyone in Alabama.

They only have to go to one family reunion.

My wife just left me

Family reunions are gonna be pretty awkward now.

One from my Grandma.

During our last family reunion, my aunts, uncle, and my mom were sitting around, making conversation and telling jokes. My uncle asked my grandma (95 yrs old) if she had any jokes.
G’ma: “I had six of them.”
Referring to her six children. You’ve still got it, Gram.

Best part of an Alabamian wedding?

Can also double as a family reunion.

I just got laid at a party.

I love family reunions.

One day, when he was visiting family, Sleezy Steve happened to notice his cousin had become very attractive..

Steve: Hey cuz! Wanna play redneck family reunion?

Cousin: What?! No!

Steve: That’s the spirit.

How is the south dealing with birth control

They are banning family reunions

The Party

Last week, I went to a party and had a good time. Before I knew it, I was chatting up a girl that I started to like. We hooked up, and later that night, I got laid. It was only as I was driving home that I remembered that the party was my family reunion.

You might be a redneck if

You might be a redneck if you have a peeing for distance contest at your family reunions and Grandma always wins.

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"The elephant is vegetarian" I smugly declared as I put on my scientist's hat.

"Oh, and how would you know that?" retorted my wife, as she often does when I make such sweeping assertions.

"Well," I said, "I have examined elephant turd carefully and I have found it to be quite vegetarian."

"In fact," I unwisely continued, "If you were to pick up an elephant t...

Little Joe was at the farm, when he saw a dead chicken.

It was lying on its back, rigor mortis locking its legs in the air. He asks his dad why the chicken has his legs in the air. Dad, who's not exactly the brightest fellow, tells him that it's so that Jesus can reach down and pull them to heaven.

Later, at the family reunion, Joe runs to his d...

Fred and Susan were having their usual loud...

...and endless argument about family reunions.

At last, Fred relented. "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I didn't mean all those hateful things I said about your family. As a matter of fact, I like your mother-in-law a whole lot better than I do mine."

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My jewish friend wont talk to me anymore.

So my friend was looking to rent a van to help his family members get around during his family reunion and he invited me along.

we came across this big white van with a few rows of seats in the back and he said "how many of my family members do uou think I can fit in here?"

I look arou...

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A woman pregnant with triplets , 2 girls and a boy, was walking down the street when she was shot 3 times in the stomach

Somehow, miraculously , she and all 3 of her babies survived. 19 years later she’s at a family reunion and her first daughter comes up to her , visibly shaken. She says “mom, I just pissed out a bullet and I’m freaking out!” She sits down and holds her head in her hands , panicking. The mom figures ...

A Black Widow joke

Q: How do you kill a Black Widow?

A: You take away her food stamps

Was told his one at a family reunion, don't know how old but thought it was funny as hell!

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