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Baroque Jokes

What did Arnold say when he decided to dress up as a baroque era composer?

I'll be Bach

My friend spends 75% of his time playing American Football and the other 25% playing Baroque music.

He's a quarterbach.

What would you call a famous president in the 17th century?

Baroque Obama.

What did one composer say to the other when the bill arrived?

Can you pay? I'm baroque.

You know the old saying: If it ain't Baroque...

...then it was probably written by more experimental composers after ~1760.

The definition of Baroque:

A time when there is no Monet.

Someone stole all my Bach records

They just baroque in and took them.

Did you hear about the artist that was baroque?

He stole the Monet, to buy Degas, to make the Van Gogh...

Mozart was an amazing musician

It’s a shame he died baroque.

In the 17th century, people were so Baroque

They were luting in the streets

Apparently Danny Devito is casting a new film about Baroque composers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger will be Bach.

I saw a new music shop in town that only services instruments made between the years 1600 and 1750.

"If It Ain't Baroque, Don't Fix It"

I went to Germany, stood outside a famous baroque composer’s house, and pondered the meaning of life.

That’s what you call thinking outside the Bach’s.

Who is 6’5”, ripped, and loves 17th century European architecture?

Dwayne ‘Baroque’ Johnson

Art thieves pillaged a museum of European 17th and 18th century artwork. They smashed windows, stole paintings, destroyed exhibits, and even did a number on the light fixtures. Everything about the place is a mere ruin of what it was yesterday.

It's all baroque now.

How is Baroque opera like an omelette?

You can't make it without breaking a few "eggs"

Why was Vivaldi always asking for money?

Because he was Baroque

Why was Rembrandt not allowed to by new art supplies?

He was too Baroque

Why didn't Bach attend Vivaldi's concert?

He was baroque.

Today I learned that Johann Sebastian Bach had to perform at weddings to make ends meet...

Turns out he was pretty baroque after all.

furniture humor

Why didn't they fix the rococo Chair?

Because it wasn't baroque

What did the classical composer say to his student?

Don’t fix it if it ain’t baroque.

Why couldn't Bach afford a new baton?

Because he was Baroque

What do you call an artist who has no money

baroque.....

(I'll just see myself out)

I Identify as Italy in the 1600’s

Baroque

I didn't realize just how long the Obama administration lasted...

Apparently the Baroque period started in the 1600s!

Despite some artists success in the 17th century...

Despite some artists success in the 17th century, many found themselves Baroque.

What period of music should a starving musician be listening to?

Baroque

Why did Bach have to sell his kidney?

Cause he was baroque

What happened when the composer got fired for being too experimental?

He went baroque.

What do you call a poor classical pianist?

Baroque

What did Johann Sebastian Bach say when he looked at his empty savings account?

I'm Baroque!

What's a poor artist's favourite style?

Baroque.

I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy...

...but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.

What did Bach say when he slammed his finger in the door?

Ow! I think it's baroque!


(I'm so sorry.)

Are you the Palace of Versailles?

'Cause you be looking baroque.

How can you tell Bach was a starving artist?

He was baroque.

Why didn't 18th century composer George Frideric Handel go shopping while he lived in London?

Because he was Baroque.

A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin

Now he is quite Baroque.

Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?

I think it's called Two Baroque Girls

There was a time where all musicians and composers were broke

It was during the Baroque period.

How can you tell if a church in Europe has no money?

It’s Baroque

I can't listen to my Vivaldi records.

They're all baroque.

What do you call two classical musicians ending their relationship?

They baroque up

What's the slang term for a harpsichord?

A baroque man's piano.

My piano keyboard is stuck on the clavichord sound setting.

I think it might be baroque.

Why was the computer programmer who was sent back in time to 1700 disappointed?

Because it was all baroque and no byte

I had to pay for everything when I went out with a couple classical musicians

they were completely baroque.

Want to know the sad truth about Mozart?

Despite his fame, he died baroque and worthless.

Today I learned that johann Sebastian Bach was a big time gambler...

It got so bad that he went baroque.

Sorry...

I learned that 17th century French royalty depleted their treasury...

I guess you could say they were baroque.

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...

Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'

Liam Neeson the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate when people incorrectly categorize Mozart as a classical composer...

Even though he lived during the Classical Era, he was Baroque as fuck.

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