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What did Arnold say when he decided to dress up as a baroque era composer?

I'll be Bach

My friend spends 75% of his time playing American Football and the other 25% playing Baroque music.

He's a quarterbach.

What did one composer say to the other when the bill arrived?

Can you pay? I'm baroque.

The definition of Baroque:

A time when there is no Monet.

You know the old saying: If it ain't Baroque...

...then it was probably written by more experimental composers after ~1760.

Who is 6’5”, ripped, and loves 17th century European architecture?

Dwayne ‘Baroque’ Johnson

What would you call a famous president in the 17th century?

Baroque Obama.

Someone stole all my Bach records

They just baroque in and took them.

Did you hear about the artist that was baroque?

He stole the Monet, to buy Degas, to make the Van Gogh...

Apparently Danny Devito is casting a new film about Baroque composers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger will be Bach.

Why was Rembrandt not allowed to by new art supplies?

He was too Baroque

I saw a new music shop in town that only services instruments made between the years 1600 and 1750.

"If It Ain't Baroque, Don't Fix It"

The classical music field should get “Bach” to basics.

Because if it ain’t “Baroque”, don’t fix it.

Mozart was an amazing musician

It’s a shame he died baroque.

Why couldn't Bach afford a new baton?

Because he was Baroque

Art thieves pillaged a museum of European 17th and 18th century artwork. They smashed windows, stole paintings, destroyed exhibits, and even did a number on the light fixtures. Everything about the place is a mere ruin of what it was yesterday.

It's all baroque now.

It was movie night, and I thought my favourite baroque composer and Henry VIII would enjoy the film JFK.

Sadly, Bach and Tudor left.

Today I spent money on a Monet painting

I am now baroque.

I didn't realize just how long the Obama administration lasted...

Apparently the Baroque period started in the 1600s!

You know I really want a new guitar.

But for now I'm too baroque.

I Identify as Italy in the 1600’s


What happened when the composer got fired for being too experimental?

He went baroque.

What do you call a poor classical pianist?


What's a poor artist's favourite style?


A building inspector for an old European town found that all buildings built between 1584 and 1750 had significant structural flaws.

Otherwise, if it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.

What period of music should a starving musician be listening to?


Why did Bach have to sell his kidney?

Cause he was baroque

What did Johann Sebastian Bach say when he looked at his empty savings account?

I'm Baroque!

Why didn't Bach attend Vivaldi's concert?

He was baroque.

What did Beethoven say when it was discovered that he was not actually deaf, and just wearing airpods?

"It smells like baroque in here."

There was a time where all musicians and composers were broke

It was during the Baroque period.

What do you call an artist who has no money


(I'll just see myself out)

Why didn't 18th century composer George Frideric Handel go shopping while he lived in London?

Because he was Baroque.

How can you tell Bach was a starving artist?

He was baroque.

Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?

I think it's called Two Baroque Girls

Are you the Palace of Versailles?

'Cause you be looking baroque.

I feel the classical musicians from the 17th and 18th century were not financially well-off.

Because they come from the Baroque era.

I can't listen to my Vivaldi records.

They're all baroque.

How can you tell if a church in Europe has no money?

It’s Baroque

What's the slang term for a harpsichord?

A baroque man's piano.

A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin

Now he is quite Baroque.

I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy...

...but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.

What did Bach say when he slammed his finger in the door?

Ow! I think it's baroque!

(I'm so sorry.)

A little music joke fo you

"I baroque my leg"
"Don't worry, I think you can Handel it"

What do you call two classical musicians ending their relationship?

They baroque up

Why was the computer programmer who was sent back in time to 1700 disappointed?

Because it was all baroque and no byte

Want to know the sad truth about Mozart?

Despite his fame, he died baroque and worthless.

17th century painter Peter Paul Rubens walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender asks “how are you going to pay for that?”
Peter Paul Rubens says “put it on my tab. I’m baroque.”

If Obama declared bankruptcy and started living on the streets, what would be his Economic Status?


My piano keyboard is stuck on the clavichord sound setting.

I think it might be baroque.

I had to pay for everything when I went out with a couple classical musicians

they were completely baroque.

So I was listening to classical music really loudly the other day when suddenly...

My speakers Baroque.

Today I learned that johann Sebastian Bach was a big time gambler...

It got so bad that he went baroque.


A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...

Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'

Liam Neeson the...

I learned that 17th century French royalty depleted their treasury...

I guess you could say they were baroque.

Did you know Rembrandt was homeless?

Turns out he was baroque.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate when people incorrectly categorize Mozart as a classical composer...

Even though he lived during the Classical Era, he was Baroque as fuck.

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