What did Arnold say when he decided to dress up as a baroque era composer?

I'll be Bach

The definition of Baroque:

A time when there is no Monet.

What did Scarlatti tell Vivaldi when he fell off a ladder?

"I guess you Baroque your Bach. I bet you can't Handel the pain."

You know the old saying: If it ain't Baroque...

...then it was probably written by more experimental composers after ~1760.

Why couldn't Bach go to the theater?

Because he was baroque

Why couldn't Bach afford a new baton?

Because he was Baroque

Why did Bach throw away his harpsichord?

Because it was Baroque.

Mozart was an amazing musician

It’s a shame he died baroque.

Why did Bach have to sell his kidney?

Cause he was baroque

Who is 6’5”, ripped, and loves 17th century European architecture?

Dwayne ‘Baroque’ Johnson

What did one composer say to the other when the bill arrived?

Can you pay? I'm baroque.

Apparently Danny Devito is casting a new film about Baroque composers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger will be Bach.

What period of music should a starving musician be listening to?

Baroque

Art thieves pillaged a museum of European 17th and 18th century artwork. They smashed windows, stole paintings, destroyed exhibits, and even did a number on the light fixtures. Everything about the place is a mere ruin of what it was yesterday.

It's all baroque now.

Why didn't Bach attend Vivaldi's concert?

He was baroque.

What would you call a famous president in the 17th century?

Baroque Obama.

A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin

Now he is quite Baroque.

Why couldn’t Bach join Mozart, Gershwin, and Liszt for drinks?

He was Baroque.

What did Beethoven say when it was discovered that he was not actually deaf, and just wearing airpods?

"It smells like baroque in here."

Notre Dame went from gothic architecture..

To French baroque.

What do you call a poor person living in the 16-1800s?

Baroque.

Why can't Bach buy a piano

Because he is Baroque

How can you tell if a church in Europe has no money?

It’s Baroque

What's the slang term for a harpsichord?

A baroque man's piano.

Want to know the sad truth about Mozart?

Despite his fame, he died baroque and worthless.

I feel the classical musicians from the 17th and 18th century were not financially well-off.

Because they come from the Baroque era.

17th century painter Peter Paul Rubens walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender asks “how are you going to pay for that?”
Peter Paul Rubens says “put it on my tab. I’m baroque.”

Johann Sebastian Bach was not a rich man

In fact, he was pretty baroque.

Why was the computer programmer who was sent back in time to 1700 disappointed?

Because it was all baroque and no byte

How can you tell Bach was a starving artist?

He was baroque.

What do you call two classical musicians ending their relationship?

They baroque up

Why didn't 18th century composer George Frideric Handel go shopping while he lived in London?

Because he was Baroque.

Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?

I think it's called Two Baroque Girls

I spent all my money on jewelry

Now I’m baroque

What is a poor man's least favorite genre of music?

Baroque..

My piano keyboard is stuck on the clavichord sound setting.

I think it might be baroque.

I had to pay for everything when I went out with a couple classical musicians

they were completely baroque.

What do you call an artist who has no money

baroque.....

(I'll just see myself out)

What did Bach say when he slammed his finger in the door?

Ow! I think it's baroque!


(I'm so sorry.)

So a pianist and his girlfriend go on a date to a restaurant.

They both order some exquisite and expensive food, and when it comes time to play their bill, the girlfriend offers to pay. Problem is, she forgot all her money and she asks if the pianist can pay for it. “I can’t,” he says. “I’m Baroque.”

I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy...

...but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.

I was going to buy some classical music CDs...

But I was too baroque.

Did you know Rembrandt was homeless?

Turns out he was baroque.

Today I learned that johann Sebastian Bach was a big time gambler...

It got so bad that he went baroque.

Sorry...

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...

Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'

Liam Neeson the...

I learned that 17th century French royalty depleted their treasury...

I guess you could say they were baroque.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate when people incorrectly categorize Mozart as a classical composer...

Even though he lived during the Classical Era, he was Baroque as fuck.

So I was listening to classical music really loudly the other day when suddenly...

My speakers Baroque.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about Vivaldi's finances?

He was one Baroque mother fucker

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