While Michelangelo was painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel....
One day, he looked down from the scaffolding to see a solitary old woman kneeling in a pew, praying.
Since the woman could not see him, Michelangelo decided to have a little fun, and he called out, "I am Jesus Christ, hear me!"
The woman did not look up, and continued praying. So, Mic...
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are looking at the Garden of Eden by Michelangelo.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are looking at the Garden of Eden by Michelangelo. They're having a debate on what nationality Adam and Eve are. The Englishman says "they look so fancy and regal, they must be English". The Frenchman says "they look so good while naked, they're clearly Fren...
What does Kurt Cobain and Michelangelo have in common?
They used their heads to paint a ceiling
Kanye West compares himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs.
Apparently none of them could sing, either.
Steven Spielberg died and went to Heaven.
"Thank goodness you made it to Heaven!" said St. Peter. "God is producing a movie and He wants you to direct it."
"Directing movies was what I did in my mortal life," said Spielberg. "This is my eternal life. I want my eternal life to be relaxing."
"I haven't told you about the film cr...
Michelangelo's Statue of David is one of the most important artworks ever created with marble
But I've always taken it for granite.
I like to think of Kurt Cobain as the ‘Michelangelo’ of Rock
Although he had a different approach to painting ceilings.
Next time you say Michelangelos statues suck just remember
>he had to go into the Nether to get all the quartz to make it. Have some respect for hard work.
Four Turtles Are About To Have Lunch Near Their Home In The Forrest
Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo are getting set when they realise they forgot the ketchup.
They start arguing who should go and get it, and after a hassle three of them agreed that Michelangelo should go and get it.
Mickey says I'll get it only if you wait for me ...
Moms being Moms
*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"
*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”
*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu...
Things mothers said
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTH...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Group of middle school students visit the Vatican
The teacher guides them through the hallways and tells them about the paintings.
Teacher: "This famous painting made Michelangelo represents the God creating Adam. Can someone tell us what they see here?"
Susan decides to speak:
"Nice muscles", she says
Teacher is furiou...
An Italian and A Greek debate culture.
An Italian and a Greek are debating the intellectual and cultural values of their respective countries. The Greek scoffs, "You Italians learned everything you know from us Greeks. For instance, we came up with the Classical Pantheon." The Italian replies, "Yes, but we improved upon everything you di...
What is both flaccid and rock hard at the same time?
On a dark and stormy night...
...a comet flies past Earth. This comet was enchanted, and after it flew past the world, it caused all statues to come to life, solely focused on destroying every country in the world.
No nation was left safe from this attack. The gargoyles attacked France. The Statue of Liberty led a revolt ...
Martin Scorcese dies and goes to heaven
He's met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. He says "God has been waiting for you to die. He is going to produce the greatest production in history and wants you to direct. He's signed Shakespeare to write the screenplay. Michelangelo is the art director. Beethoven is writing the music." ...