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4 tips for guys for successful relationships

It’s really important to find a woman that you love and who loves you the same.

It’s really important to find a woman that sexually excites you and that she feels the same about you.

It’s really important to find a woman who will care for you and that you will care for her, in sickne...

Relationships are like algebra...

ever look at your Ex and wonder why?

I made a graph showing all of my past relationships.

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.

I have a graph of my relationships

It has an Ex axis and a why axis, trust me I’ve been plotting for a while

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Relationships are kinda like farts.

If you try to force it it’s probably shit.

I made a video about the symbiotic relationships between fungus and algae

Don't forget to lichen subscribe!

Relationships

They are like the suits in a pack of cards,

They start out all hearts and diamonds………..

…….but eventually you wish you had a club and a spade!

Relationships are like Indian food

They start out hot and spicy but end up with someone on the toilet crying and saying why me.

My romantic relationship

Seriously. It's a joke.

The key to successful relationships is being earnest and frank...

... so when I'm with my wife in Washington D.C., I'm Earnest, and with my girlfriend in Baltimore, I'm Frank.

Not good at relationships

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her... instead, I swam up to the surface.

Why do relationships between string instruments never work out?

They always result in domestic violins.

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I know of a zoophile scientist who is studying human-dog sexual relationships.

He's always in his lab

Plotting a graph of my past relationships is a little "complex"

Plotting a graph of my past relationships is a little "complex". It has imaginary "ax-es".

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A woman goes to an AA meeting, introduces herself, "I've been through three relationships now and I just can't handle it anymore. My pussy is killing me." Someone interrupts and says, "I'm sorry, what does this have to do with your problem with alcohol?"

"What problem with alcohol? I just can't seem to give up the hard lickers!"

Why does Santa spend 364 days a year forming strong masculine relationships?

Bros before hos

An Indonesian ambassador and a Polish ambassador are meeting in America to discuss international relationships when the American embassy worker gets confused.

"Their country flags are so similar and confusing," the American embassy worker thought to himself, "How can I tell the Indonesian flag and the Polish flag apart?"

"Is the white strip located above the red stripe?" The embassy worker asked the ambassadors.

"Tak" replied the ambassadors...

So I made a graph of all my past relationships...

It has an ex axis and a why axis.

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Long distance relationships are hard...

I haven’t seen my girl for a month and worst I haven’t had sex for a couple of weeks...









—Jose Cervantes

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To be successful at relationships, be a dog.

Say little, listen a lot, and don't poop on the carpet

I got drunk and drew up a graph showing all of the relationships I've ever had.

It had an ex axis, and a why axis.

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A hot single woman wants a strong relationship

She makes a post on a dating site saying that she is looking for a nice guy who wont hit her, wont run away, and is good in bed. A week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door, looks down and sees a guy with no arms and legs in front of her .he lady is confused and asks the guy who is he and w...

A struggling businessman named John approaches Yoda seeking financial advice

John asks Yoda “How is it that I am not rich? I work 80 hours a week, I kiss up to my bosses, I avoid my family, I stay away from romantic relationships, I never go out with friends, and yet still, I am not wealthy. Everybody told me that under capitalism, if I worked hard enough, I too could be ric...

How can you destroy your relationships with your family?

Adoption papers

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Some people change relationships like the rest of us change underwear

At least once a day, sometimes more if shit got messy

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