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Paternity Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s another name for a paternity test

A pop quiz

u/iwillsexyou

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A paternity test

A friend of mine were called in to a paternity test.

So he went to the local doctors office and did a blood test.

He was later called back in for the results.

When he heard he wasn't the father he smiled brightly and exclaimed : it isn't important to win, but to participate!

A man runs late to paternity court

He, out of breath: "I made it"
Judge: "No, you didn't"

What did Sherlock Holmes say after being asked to get a paternity test?

Wat*son*?

I'm starting a business in Indiana; we do paternity tests and private investigations.

It's called "Hoosier Daddy and What Does He Do?"

In Sweden paternity leave is a big thing. And it is very challenging, almost every father loses 23lb in the first few weeks.

They have no idea where the baby is.

I used to have a son trapped inside a woman’s body

Then I took a paternity test.

On an unrelated note...

the paternity test came back negative.

What do you get when you cross the mailman with a Cougar?

According to the Paternity Test: Me

Preparations for parenthood.

Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.

Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans.
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