A man runs late to paternity court

He, out of breath: "I made it"
Judge: "No, you didn't"

Did you hear about the new facility that opened in Indiana specialing in paternity tests?

It's called "Hoosier Daddy?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A paternity test

A friend of mine were called in to a paternity test.

So he went to the local doctors office and did a blood test.

He was later called back in for the results.

When he heard he wasn't the father he smiled brightly and exclaimed : it isn't important to win, but to participate!

What did Sherlock Holmes say after being asked to get a paternity test?

Wat*son*?

In Sweden paternity leave is a big thing. And it is very challenging, almost every father loses 23lb in the first few weeks.

They have no idea where the baby is.

Why didn't the mason jar need a paternity test?

Because the resemblance was uncanny.

Preparations for parenthood.

Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.

Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans.
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I used to have a son trapped inside a woman’s body

Then I took a paternity test.

“I love you, Daddy.”

“Until the paternity test comes back, that’s Keith to you.”

On an unrelated note...

the paternity test came back negative.

What do you get when you cross the mailman with a Cougar?

According to the Paternity Test: Me

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