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Rampage Jokes

One of Santa's helpers and a football player on the defense together went on a rampage.

It was elf and safety gone mad.

I heard my lawnmower was going on a rampage...

It was going on a *grass*acre

[Grass acre, grass massacre](#spoiler)

Rammy the Ram got his first book published

He rushed down to his local library to see if they would stock it.

Unfortunately they wouldn’t. Their rules were quite clear on that matter.
The librarian told him directly: “We are sorry, but we can’t allow rampages in our library.”

Or else!

Timmy was a soft spoken mell-mannered lad and he was soon to be married to Jane. His mates were worried that, with his mild nature, he'd end up being dominated by his new spouse and had a plan to "show her who's the boss". Obviously Timmy thought that would be an appalling idea but finally gave in.<...

A man who is riddled with guilt confesses in a sms message to his next-door neighbor.

A man who is riddled with guilt confesses in a sms message to his next-door neighbor.

Dear neighbor, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife for some time now. It's been so good I have not been able to stop myself. Sometimes it's ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Aunt Ruth went missing

It turned out she was kidnapped and murdered before my uncle could pay the ransom. He went on a rampage, finding and slaughtering every last man who participated in kidnapping her, even going so far as to torture some of them. You could say he was.....

Ruthless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man divorces his wife..

He's very aggravated and starts kicking items around the living room to take out the frustration. During his rampage he kicks over a bottle and a genie pops out.

The genie says "You have 3 wishes.."
"Great" the man said.
"But there is a condition, anything you get, your wife get...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An off duty law enforcement officer is walking down a street in the USA...

and notices that an escaped rabid dog (on the illegal breed list) is on a rampage attacking shop fronts, with people panicking all over the place. This dog is very clearly about to attack a defenceless infant in a stroller.

Thinking quickly, the man pulls out his firearm and puts the dog down...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wins an online contest but enters the wrong email address to access the code.

He realizes that his account is on yahoo instead of gmail and now someone else has received the code to access the $5000 prize. He drives to his office disheartened and asks his secretary if he should just send an email to the account requesting the person to forward the code. Then his frustration i...

Terminator walks into a police station

He opens the first office and two police officers stand there mouths open. They reach for their pistols, but the Terminator opens his mouth and out shoots the sound of ear piercing violins. The police officers drop their pistols and clench their hands against their ears, but it's too much, their hea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pillsbury Doughboy

So, the Pillsbury Doughboy was walking down the street one day minding his own business when Woody from Toystory happens upon him. The two recognize each other and say hello, and have a little chat. As the pair were saying their good byes, Woody asks "Can I poke your belly." Doughboy says "I would r...

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