UPJOKE
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Three vampires walk into a bar...

The 1st one, quite thirsty promptly says to the bartender "I'll have a glass of blood, type AB-, on the rocks", quickly followed by the 2nd making his request for "A Bloody Mary, type B+" and lastly the 3rd one, after a little consideration, asks for "A glass of hot water please".

The first ...

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What’s Your Name, Sailor?

The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him,

\-“Get over here! What’s your name, sailor?”

\- “John,” the new seaman replied.

\- “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call a...

What kind of monkey is the biggest coward?

A chim-PANSY

What do you call an easily scared monkey?

Chimp pansy

What do you call a monkey named James that's afraid of everything?

Jim-pansy

What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful?

A cheap pansy

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