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Lgbt Jokes

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

Edit: Wow front page. Didn't expect this big a response.

Did you ever realize that the colours on the LGBT flag are actually all straight

Unless it blows?

All cars support LGBT community.

Afterall, they all have a trans mission.

My son just told me what he thought LGBT stood for

L - Let’s
G - Get down to
B - Buisness
T - To defeat the huns

What do you call a group of people waiting to get into a Pride festival?

An LGBT queue

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?"
Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".

[True story. My dad is not an idiot either, totally normal human.]

Why do LGBT people dislike coding?

It's binary

What do the LGBT community and computers have in common?

Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!

How does a LGBT Communist get to work?

On their Bi-Sickle!

I'm pretty sure my electrician supports LGBT rights.

Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So The Canadian Government Is Changing The 2 Dollar Coin

Under pressure from the LGBT community the Canadian government is taking the Iconic polar bear off the 2 dollar coin and replacing it with 2 male deer mating.

Now everyone who has one will have “2 Fucking Bucks” in their pockets

Why are LGBT people so fashionable?

Because they spent a lot of time in the closet

Why can't you argue with the LGBT community?

Because they're not thinking straight.

What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade?

We Will Rock You.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Amazing Comeback] So I was reading comments on a LGBT friendly add(Android's #AndProud)

> I hate fucking gays
>> Stop having sex with gays then.

I always thought LGBT means Lettuce Ginger Bacon and Tomato...

Until my smart friend told me that G stands for Guacamole

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'll never know what LGBT stands for.

Every time I ask I can never get a straight answer.



This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My LGBT friends called me prude when we were talking about sex

... but frankly, it's them who never gave straight answers.

What happens when you put a lot of LGBT people in a long line?

You get a LGBTQ.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Though he passed away decades ago, I really think my grandpa would have supported LGBTQ+ marriage in all of its forms.

His motto was "Fuck everyone.".

What's the most commonly spoken language amongst LGBT people?

Gaelic.

People doubt me when I mention how accepting Canada is towards the LGBT community.

But it's Trudeau.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've seen a LGBT activist publish phones and home addresses of homophobic straight people on the Internet.

Needless to say, I found his approach somewhat heterodox.

I tried watching LGBT movies to celebrate Pride month

but I need to pay extra for LGBT Plus

Where did the two men line up to get their marriage certificate?

In the LGBT-queue

What do LGBT people say at the end of a conversation?

Bi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to a recent survey of Chefs, about 82% of them are part of the LGBT community.

Interestingly most of them were pansexual

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There’s a LGBT branch of Ku Klux Klan

It’s called, Gay-K-K

LGBT should rename themselves BLTG.

It's more tasteful.

It must've been terrible for some in the LGBT+ community,

Because no one is encouraged to come out now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to start an lgbt friendly militia

An “Al gayda” if you will...

Why do LGBT people have bad grades?

They can’t think straight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the LGBT community's favorite sex position?

Sixty-*Nouns*

I went to a LGBT+ friendly bank yesterday to see

Transactions

Why does LGBT always have to have a Q?

I mean, is it too much to want to enjoy my Lipton Grey British Tea without waiting every time?

It's ironic that Alex Jones hates the LGBT community when he's secretly a drag queen.

His drag name is Miss Information.

I'm not sure if you knew this, but if you rearrange the letters in LGBT...

You'll probably offend someone.

A man walks into an LGBTQ centre.

He walks up to the front desk and introduces himself. "Hello, I identify as a chocolate bar. Can I join?"

The receptionist replies "Sir, that's disgraceful! You're mocking the community. We're going to have to ask you to leave."

"You can't call me sir!" The man exclaims. "I use her/she...

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I met a bipolar bear at my therapist's office.

He was complaining why there were no lgbt rallies near the arctic circle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always ask what LGBT stands for...

But i never get a straight answer.




Ps: I'm very aware of its meaning(since im very gay).

LG's new Bluetooth department is very progressive

Everyone there is LGBT

LGBT Girl Scout Leader Arrested

She was thrown in jail for eating Brownies.

Altoids has begun marketing to the LGBT community.

Their new mints are bi-curiously strong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you have if the LGBT community kicked out all the gays?

A pretty good sandwich

Now that we have finally started to accept LGBT people inour society...

...I think Iowans will soon follow

I'm not saying I value sandwiches more than equality.

But my favourite part about LGBT is the BLT bit.

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Learning how to identify

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer wearing a rainbow pride shirt. "I didn't realize you were gay," the bartender says. "Oh, I'm not. But I just discovered I am a part of the LGBT community and I want to show my support," the guy replies. "Since I get all my loving from prostitutes it was point...

Topical Jokes (5/20)

Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started.

Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This really isn't a good joke but...

In an alternate universe, Hitler gains power of the whole world (somehow) and he is so full of himself, he changes the official title of a man from mister to the first 3 letters of his name.

In this alternate universe, Hitler doesn't believe in Aryan supremacy but supports LGBT (bear with me)...

There are so many letters added to LGBT nowadays,

it may as well be called LGBTLDR

Why was the LGBT parade float a disaster?

Their tranny stopped working

Whats the difference between an arrow and the LGBT+ community?

An arrow actually has a point.

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