UPJOKE
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I keep asking people what LGBT stands for.

No ones given me a straight answer.

Why can you see the LGBT colours in the sky after it rains?

Because the sun just came out.

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

Edit: Wow front page. Didn't expect this big a response.

My son just told me what he thought LGBT stood for

L - Let’s
G - Get down to
B - Buisness
T - To defeat the huns

All cars support LGBT community.

Afterall, they all have a trans mission.

Did you ever realize that the colours on the LGBT flag are actually all straight

Unless it blows?

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?"
Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".

[True story. My dad is not an idiot either, totally normal human.]

What do you call a group of people waiting to get into a Pride festival?

An LGBT queue

Why do LGBT people dislike coding?

It's binary

What do the LGBT community and computers have in common?

Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!

How does a LGBT Communist get to work?

On their Bi-Sickle!

I'm pretty sure my electrician supports LGBT rights.

Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.

I researched about LGBT on internet today

Just couldn't get a straight answer.

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So The Canadian Government Is Changing The 2 Dollar Coin

Under pressure from the LGBT community the Canadian government is taking the Iconic polar bear off the 2 dollar coin and replacing it with 2 male deer mating.

Now everyone who has one will have “2 Fucking Bucks” in their pockets

What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade?

We Will Rock You.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Amazing Comeback] So I was reading comments on a LGBT friendly add(Android's #AndProud)

> I hate fucking gays
>> Stop having sex with gays then.

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The lgbt+ community should thank me!

Because I made all people i‘m dating gay......

I always thought LGBT means Lettuce Ginger Bacon and Tomato...

Until my smart friend told me that G stands for Guacamole

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My LGBT friends called me prude when we were talking about sex

... but frankly, it's them who never gave straight answers.

Why are LGBT people so fashionable?

Because they spent a lot of time in the closet

Why can't you argue with the LGBT community?

Because they're not thinking straight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'll never know what LGBT stands for.

Every time I ask I can never get a straight answer.



What happens when you put a lot of LGBT people in a long line?

You get a LGBTQ.

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Though he passed away decades ago, I really think my grandpa would have supported LGBTQ+ marriage in all of its forms.

His motto was "Fuck everyone.".

I tried watching LGBT movies to celebrate Pride month

but I need to pay extra for LGBT Plus

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What's the LGBT community's favorite sex position?

Sixty-*Nouns*

EA confirms 2 of the characters from Apex are LGBT+. How does that affect the Gameplay?

They Can't shoot straight.

What do LGBT people say at the end of a conversation?

Bi

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I was very undecided about attending the LGBT+ Pride march today and I ended up with a sore butt....

...It’s what I get for sitting on the fence!

What's the most commonly spoken language amongst LGBT people?

Gaelic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've seen a LGBT activist publish phones and home addresses of homophobic straight people on the Internet.

Needless to say, I found his approach somewhat heterodox.

Where did the two men line up to get their marriage certificate?

In the LGBT-queue

It's ironic that Alex Jones hates the LGBT community when he's secretly a drag queen.

His drag name is Miss Information.

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According to a recent survey of Chefs, about 82% of them are part of the LGBT community.

Interestingly most of them were pansexual

LG's new Bluetooth department is very progressive

Everyone there is LGBT

It must've been terrible for some in the LGBT+ community,

Because no one is encouraged to come out now.

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There’s a LGBT branch of Ku Klux Klan

It’s called, Gay-K-K

LGBT should rename themselves BLTG.

It's more tasteful.

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I want to start an lgbt friendly militia

An “Al gayda” if you will...

A man walks into an LGBTQ centre.

He walks up to the front desk and introduces himself. "Hello, I identify as a chocolate bar. Can I join?"

The receptionist replies "Sir, that's disgraceful! You're mocking the community. We're going to have to ask you to leave."

"You can't call me sir!" The man exclaims. "I use her/she...

Why do LGBT people have bad grades?

They can’t think straight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a group of LGBT lions?

Gay pride

LGBT has an official lotion.

Johnson & Johnson.

I'm not sure if you knew this, but if you rearrange the letters in LGBT...

You'll probably offend someone.

People doubt me when I mention how accepting Canada is towards the LGBT community.

But it's Trudeau.

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I met a bipolar bear at my therapist's office.

He was complaining why there were no lgbt rallies near the arctic circle.

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I always ask what LGBT stands for...

But i never get a straight answer.




Ps: I'm very aware of its meaning(since im very gay).

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Learning how to identify

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer wearing a rainbow pride shirt. "I didn't realize you were gay," the bartender says. "Oh, I'm not. But I just discovered I am a part of the LGBT community and I want to show my support," the guy replies. "Since I get all my loving from prostitutes it was point...

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What would you have if the LGBT community kicked out all the gays?

A pretty good sandwich

Altoids has begun marketing to the LGBT community.

Their new mints are bi-curiously strong.

3 people walk into a room.

One is a stoner, one is a vegan and one is an LGBT supporter. How can you tell which one is which?


They'll tell you

Now that we have finally started to accept LGBT people inour society...

...I think Iowans will soon follow

I'm not saying I value sandwiches more than equality.

But my favourite part about LGBT is the BLT bit.

Topical Jokes (5/20)

Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started.

Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit...

There are so many letters added to LGBT nowadays,

it may as well be called LGBTLDR

Why was the LGBT parade float a disaster?

Their tranny stopped working

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The vagina has more than 8000 nerve endings

But it’s still not nearly as sensitive as LGBT Community

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