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Psychics Jokes

Where do psychics buy their crystal balls?

The Seers Catalogue

Two psychics meet in the street

One says to the other, "You're great, how am I?"

Why are there no psychics who enjoy life

Happy mediums don't exist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a Psychic convention.

All the psychics are there. Palm readers, Crystal Ball people, phone psychics. So the speaker says "has anybody here ever seen a ghost?" A bunch of hands went up.
He says "has anybody here ever talked to a ghost?" A bunch of hands went up again.
He gets right down to the last que...

Great news! I got the whole plane to myself!

The large group going to the psychics convention all cancelled at the last minute.

Once I was almost in love with a psychic

She left me before we met.

2 Psychics are playing a game of chess...

They look at the board and then firmly shake their hands and nod and say “Good Game!”
and leave.

What size shirts do psychics wear?

Medium

You are invited to the Psychics conference

You know where, you know when and we know you're attending.

The most honest people are psychics

They have never used their abilities for winning in a lottery

Psychics

A young psychic dwarf escapes from prison.
The newspaper headline the next day:
"Small Medium at Large".

How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

None, but they’ll tell you who will.

Why don’t psychics shake gifts from dead people?

They can only feel their presents

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was going to go to the Psychics Conference.

But it was closed due to unforeseen circumstances.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a prostitute that only services psychics?

Seersucker

What do you call it when two psychics reach a compromise?

A happy medium!


No idea if I was the first to ever tell this joke, but I was damn proud of myself when I put it together as a kid xD

How do 2 psychics greet each other?

"Hello, how am I?"

"You're fine, how am I?"

Where do psychics go to dance?

The crystal ball

What do you call a room full of psychics?

A scam!

I once called a psychic

She asked who this was, so I hung up.

My local newspaper ran a story on the decrease of cow psychics.

It was called "Steak Medium Rare"

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