For his birthday, I got my friend a telepathic abacus.
It's the thought that counts.
James Bond walks into a bar
He looks around, and takes a seat neat to a very attractive women.
He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The women notices this and asks, "*Is your date running late?*"
"*No*", he replies, "*Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I know a hooker who gives telepathic orgasms.
She'll blow your mind.
This Valentine's Day, I'm sending telepathic gifts.
Because it's the thought that counts.
A priest, a nun, a giraffe, a telepathic unicorn, 21 pilots, Pennywise the clown, a ninja and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender, struggling to open the champagne, says
...yeah I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off.
Would you like to hear a telepathic joke?
Would you like to hear another one?
Only telepathic people will understand this pun.
I'll see myself out.
Some things make Italian mothers telepathic
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, 'Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.' The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into ...
A pair of twins walk into a bar...
A pair of twins walk into a bar.
A man walks up to them and asks:
"So is it true that twins can communicate telepathically"
They look at each other in silence for about 30 seconds when the man says:
"I'm sorry if that was an awkward question, it was stupid of me to ask"...
In honor of Sir Sean Connery (2 of 2)
James Bond is sitting at the bar doing a vodka martini, shaken not schtirred, when he notices a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar.
He glances at his watch, looks up and gives her a knowing wink.
Intrigued, she walks over, smiles and says, "What was that all about? Why did y...
The Pain Machine
There was a married couple who have been trying to have kids for a while and they kept loosing their children during pregnancy.
This was her third pregnancy and her water breaks.
Her husband rushes her to the hospital as he can see his wife is in great pain.
Once they get the...
Once there was a happily married couple with a baby on the way. One morning the wife's water broke and they rushed off to the hospital. While there the doctors told them there was a new machine that was developed which telepathically transfers a certain percentage of pain to the father if they agre...
Three men in a car get into a crash and wind up in front of Saint Peter himself.
"Ah, first vist of the day! Not that I wanted you to die..." Saint Peter looks at a small clipboard and says, "Names!"
All men respond with their full names.
"Okay then... What? That's odd... None o...