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Paranormal Jokes

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Guy giving a lecture, on the paranormal.

Guy: "How many people believe in Ghosts?"

About 60 hands go up.

"How many have seen a ghost?"

About 15 hands go up.

"How many have spoken to a ghost?"

3 hands go up.

"How many have had sex with a ghost?"

One hand goes up, Paddy right at the back.
...

Paranormal happenings in the Navy

Just found out that the USS Enterprise (CVN-65, sorry to Trekkies) was haunted. The apparition of a human figure, from the waist down and appearing to have been messily severed from the rest of the body, would walk the ship’s passageways.

While nobody is sure of the ghost’s identity or the ex...

Paranormal experience

-Son: Dad have you ever had any paranormal experiences?


-Dad: Yes I did, your mother told me once that i was right.

My friend asked to tell him about my paranormal experiences...

I said, I’ve been ghosted by multiple women

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A professor at the University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

That...

What is a paranormal inestigator's favorite type of gun?

A colt.

An expert on paranormal activity is doing a lecture tour.

He arrives at his most recent lecture location and goes inside to a packed auditorium.

He clears his throat and says "excellent, let us begin. How many people here believe in ghosts? "

Every hand in the rooms goes up.

" That's what I value, a truly open mind" he says. " Now, ...

I encountered some paranormal activity at the local airport.

My plane wasn't delayed.

What are the Muppet's views on the paranormal?

"It's a phenomena (do doo do doodoo)"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A college professor is teaching a class on the paranormal, and for his first day, he decides to ask some questions to his class.

He stands at the front of the lecture hall and asks, "Now, by show of hands, how many of you have seen a ghost?"

Almost everyone in the class raises their hands, including a rather out-of-place old man in the back.

Having expected that, the professor smiles and asks, "How many of you ...

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what do you call a ghosts boobies?

Paranormal entitties.

What do you call haunted yogurt?

Paranormal Activia.

What do you call a couple of average ghosts?

Paranormals

The Possessed Book

It was a dark, rainy night, far out in the country side, among hills when a family was traveling in their car. They were surprised to see a man selling books in the rain. He hailed the car and asked if they wanted to buy any books.

One of the boys in the family was interested in haunted myste...

Ghosts.

I don't know when it comes to ghosts and the afterlife, I like to think I'm open minded, maybe there something in it, maybe there isn't.

Actually I recently attended a seance. The psychic who ran it told us she was delighted with the way her business was going. Absolutely booked up solid. ...

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Friendly Ghost

A Ghost hunter is travelling the world doing lectures and meet and greets trying to get more people interested in the paranormal.

He's been told that his presentations are boring and lack a certain x factor.

He decides to start his next lecture a little differently and begins by saying...

So

the new Paranormal Activity 3 is about a ghost who stalks little girls and makes them play with him late at night when the mum and step-dad are not around.



Glad to see Michael Jackson back to his old tricks.

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Once, in a faraway land, there was this doctor who was a professional trickster...

This doctor was quite popular, but he had a big, bad secret; he deceives people. How? Well, let's just say a patient walks into his office with an illness. The doctor, after doing some checkups, gives his prescription for a medicine, which he even gives for free. It turns out, however, that the medi...

Three friends are lost in the woods...

As they try to find their way out, they chance upon a beautiful house and farm. Puzzled by this house in the middle of nowhere, they decide to look inside one of the windows to see if they can get any idea of what's going on. Upon looking in, they see an old man with his eighteen young, beautiful da...

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