If you’re over the age of 40 and prone to frequent trips to the bathroom, I’ve got bad news…

Urine trouble

What do you call an accident prone martial artist?

Bruise Lee

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The Harley & The dishes (NSFW)

A guy named Joe heads into his local Harley Davidson dealership with a fistfull of dollars and starts looking for his dream motorbike. The dealer looks at Joe's choice and states that while Joe's choice in motorcycle was respectable, the older style Harleys not only held their value better, but in m...

Everybody Knows Somebody Called DAVE.

Dave is an advertising executive in L.A., who is always boasting that he knows EVERYONE on the planet, & they all know him.

His colleagues love hearing his stories about this celebrity, or that politician. However, his boss doesn't believe a word & challenges him to prove his boasts....

Imagine a man, lying down...

... as men are prone to do

what does a fatal accident prone clown do

he puts the laughter in manslaughter

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A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

I asked my older brother why I was so accident prone

He says i got it from my parents

Why are cowboys prone to gambling?

Because they're always raising the steaks.

Why are older Israelis More Prone to Identity Theft?

They still use Netanyahu.

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My pencil isn’t prone to making Freudian Slips

but my penis

Last year 52 Americans were shot by people who barely speak english, have no marketable skills, and are prone to angry outburst based on their views...

...toddlers are the worst.

How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're on our sixth.

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What do you call an orthodox jew that is prone to heartburn?

Acidic.

[My apologies]

There was once, in a small town, a man named Don.

One day Don was walking on top of a fence, and he slipped. When he slipped, the fence split him in half, right up the middle, but miraculously, each half of Don survived! Each half got up, started hopping away, and essentially started living separate lives.

The left half, more prone to rati...

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Larry the horny Cockerel

Farmer goes to market to buy a cockerel to mate with his hens. At the market he sees one going very cheap. The previous owner is very happy to sell it. Back at the farm the cockerel (now named Larry) is set among the henhouse, the farmer goes to bed.
Larry Fucks most of the hens to death, jumps ...

What do you call unintentional penetration while giving a back massage?

Accident Prone

Two scientists bring a polar bear to the South Pole

Two scientists bring a polar bear to the South Pole

Scientist 1: So this polar bear can survive in both the north *and* south poles?

Scientist 2: that’s correct. However, he’s prone to mood swings in the south

Scientist 1: maybe it’s his wife?

Scientist 2: or his husband...

Women are like hex screws

The more damaged they are, the more prone to stripping they become.

If I like what you're saying I'll lie down right here...

I'm prone to agree

A Holiday Story

Back in the 1970s an Alaskan lawyer found out he had a long lost cousin in Czechoslovakia. In letters, the Czech mentioned he always wanted to see Alaska, so they arrange for him to come for a visit over the Christmas break.

While he's there the Alaskan takes him for a hike through the woods....

When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike

People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, ...

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Groundbreaking Study

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is...

3 criminals are about to be executed by a firing squad...

The first criminal is brought out. The captain yells "Arm!" then "Aim!" The criminal thinks quickly and shouts "Tsunami!" Being near a tsunami-prone area, the captain and his men look around. The criminal escapes.

The second criminal is then brought out. The captain orders his men the same as...

Three friends decided to go on a three day excursion into the jungle...

On the second day, Joey and Sam woke to find their friend, Creed, had disappeared. Knowing that he was a heavy sleeper and was prone to sleep walking, they quickly packed up to go find him.

They stumbled upon a remote village who welcomed them with open arms, fed them, and threw a three day f...

There was this epileptic Roman ruler...

...who was prone to occasional fits. He was also very self-conscious about it. One day, one of his guards (who also suffered from epilepsy) went into convulsions in the hall while the monarch was eating dinner.

Assuming that the man was mocking him, the dictator furiously ordered him to be t...

So this nun is driving along...

... when suddenly a drunk staggers out into the road in front of her. She skids to a stop, gets out, and scolds him severely, making several derogatory remarks, and angrily lecturing him on how dangerous he was being. The drunk looks at her for a minute, then punches her in the face, knocking her ...

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Back tattoos.

I posted this joke in r/funny but someone suggested that this was a more appropriate subreddit. Anyway, here's my joke:

I was at the beach the other day and I saw a girl with a big iguana tattoo on her back, and I thought, "that's really sexy."

Well, it's not so much that I find it att...

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The Boston symphony orchestra was playing Beethoven's ninth..

And during said piece there's about 20 minutes where the two bassists (those playing the double bass) have nothing to do. So, rather than sitting around doing nothing, they decided to sneak out for a drink at the pub next door. After slamming a couple of shots (as bassists are prone to do), one of t...

Why are old printers so musical?

Because they are prone to jamming.

What do Ghandi and Mary Poppins have in common?

Gandhi's political power was born from his ultra modest means - but it came at a price. His feet were in terrible condition due to his insistence on wearing rough leather sandals. Hunger strikes weakened his immune system and he was very prone to illness, but in his moments of weakness, he is said t...

A French Execution

A priest, a lawyer and an engineer are awaiting execution.

The priest is first to go and is put into the guillotine.

The blade drops and two feet away from his neck it stops, stuck.

The priest proclaims it a miracle from on high and is immediately released.

Next up is th...

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An original math feghoot.

There are enough people in the world now who require catheters for medical reasons for the devices to have become the targets of fetishes. At least some of these catheter fetishists are also practitioners of free love, and it's not unusual for them to get together with (relatively) large numbers of...

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