Positive Jokes

I tested positive for being the worlds sexiest person. Unfortunately i am showing no symptoms

Little little bird in the sky

You look up it shits in your eye

You don’t weep you don’t cry

You thank god that cows don’t fly

Do you know that there are 4 types of orgasm… the Holy Orgasm, The Positive Orgasm, the Negative Orgasm and the Fake Orgasm.
The Holy Orgasm sounds like ‟Oh God, oh god…”
The Positive Orgasm goes ‟Yes, yes, oh yes, ”
The Negative Orgasm goes ‟no, no, oh no”
and the fake orgasm, the fa... read more

for needing a fucking vacation

Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight ... read more

No murder,
No war,
No fight,
No conspiracy,
No cheating,
No racism,
No religious fanatics,
No language problem,
No crying or teasing,
Good cooperation,
Good coordination,
Natural acting,
Everybody enjoys the climax,
Lots of love,
... read more

You can't get sick from a hoax.

And so we tried transfusing B positive blood but apparently he was just an optimistic little bastard was a Type A