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Optimistic Jokes

What do you get when you mix a gullible and an optimistic person.

Read it again

I'm optimistically single.

My bed is half full.

Why are solar panels always optimistic?

They always keep their sunny side up.

The optimistic pessimist.

The reason I'm a pessimist is I'm either right or delightfully proven wrong.

What do you call an optimistic person with radiation poisoning?

Toxic Positivity.

What do you call an optimistic programmer?

A glass half full stack developer.

optimistic old guys.

Two old guys on a park bench are talking.

"Ya know, when I was 25 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands.

By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried real hard.

By the time I was 60 I could bend it 20 degrees, no problem.

I'm gonna be ...

I’m feeling optimistic

Tomorrow’s going to be a Good Friday.

Why is Tom Brady always so optimistic?

He sees the football as half full.

Optimist Joe

An optimist by every account, Joe was sitting in the bar when his friends come to him and say, "Joe, how can you call yourself an optimist when bad things are always happening ?" To which Joe replied, "there's always a good side to every situation, you just have to know it."

So, they tell Joe...

They were pretty optimistic when they named it gonorrhea.

No need to applaud.

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race to see who's the fastest

Trump went first and he ran from the start to the finish line in 23:34 minutes

Clinton went second and got 15:28 minutes

Obama went after and did 10 minutes, thinking he may have won, Obama...

We have to stay optimistic now

Because positive is not a good sign....

Some people are just over-optimistic.

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

What species is the most optimistic?

Fish, they take every oppor-tuna-ty

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who are the most optimistic people in the world?

The Jews, they don't know how much it's gonna grow but they still cut it.

Why did the optimistic electrician lose his job?

He kept on turning negatives into positives.

I was a rather optimistic child

I used to think CCTV was a very, very positive Spanish television channel

What is an Optimistic Vampires favorite drink?

B Positive!

When You Have An Optimistic View On What You're Smelling, You're Smelling...

Rose tinted gases.

I'm an optimistic pessimist...

I see the glass as half empty, but there are free refills

How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?

Buoyant!

I'm more optimistic than most.

Some say the glass is half empty, some would say it's half full.
I'd say "Hey, That's a nice glass!"

Nico is extremely optimistic and always sees the bright side of everything.

It drives his friends Connor and Tyler crazy, so one day they decide to tell him a story that he cannot find the positive in.

Nico meets Tyler at his house and Nico asks where Connor is. Tyler tells him "You didn't hear? He found his girlfriend with another guy last night and killed them both...

Why is Humpty Dumpty so optimistic about the upcoming Winter?

Because he had a great Fall!

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