This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pirates call prostitutes

Land-Hoe!

What’s the difference between a casual dress party and an orgy with pirates?

One, you come as you are, and the other, you “arrr” as you cum!

Apple have come up with a new revolutionary eye patch for pirates.

It's called the iEye patch.

(I'm sorry)

Where do pirates buy their hook hands from?

From a second hand shop.

Why don't pirates travel on mountain roads?

'Scurvy

What do pirates and mathematicians have in common?

They both keep searching for 'x'

Why do pirates have trouble with the alphabet?

They spend years lost at C.

What do pirates do to unwind?

They have some arrr and arrr

What's the pirates law for equitable retribution?

An Aye for an Aye

What’s a pirates favorite element on the periodic table?

Gold. What the hell would they need argon for?

What do you call 2 pirates that like each other?

a pirate ship


i know it sucks but i literally made this on the spot like a couple mins ago and thought to share it

How much do pirates pay for corn?

A buccaneer.



Nah, just kidding... they just steal it.

I, for one, think it’d be hilarious if there were female pirates.

Wooden-tit?

Why don't pirates ever take their kids to see movies?

Because they are all rated ARRRRR

What’s a pirates favorite letter?

In best pirate voice “me hart will always belong to the CCCCcccc!!!”

How do pirates express their creativity?

Arrrrrrrrrt.

What's a pirates favourite type of egg?

CaviARRR

What do you call a group of scary pirates?

A scarecrew

If I watched pirates of the Caribbean without paying for it, that would make me…

A criminal.

Why do pirates love reddit?

Aye, tis the best place to trade stolen content for gold!

I think Apple is run by trendy pirates.

They're always updating to a new iPatch.

What is a pirates favourite letter?

The ones they get in bottles!

Were you attacked by pirates?

You seem to have lost your booty and chest.

Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid...

If they had used a "G", nobody would ever have found their treasure.

Why do Pirates always win boxing matches?

They have a killer hook.

Police: We're looking for pirates

Me (a Southerner): Y'ar?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW When it comes to anal sex, my wife is like a pirate

She doesn't like to give up the booty.

What course do pirates take in colleges?

Arrght..



-(Courtesy of my 8 yo who told this to me tonight)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know pirates.... (NSFW)

Did you know pirates were known for their big dicks?

Yeah, those guys were hung

My ex wife is a pirates worst nightmare !

A sunken chest with no booty .........

Why don’t pirates do very well in school?

They’re only used to high C’s

Why did pirates eat oranges?

For the vitamin SEA

Why do pirates like to play the lottery so much?

They really love ArrrrNG!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cruise ship was attacked by a group of pirates. All the men were captured, including the captain. One day he complained to the pirates.

Captain: I haven't had sex for weeks. I need a woman please.

Pirates: You can try the barrel with a small hole drilled through it downstairs. It feels just like having sex with a woman.

Captain: Seriously?

The captain, feeling skeptical, went downstairs anyway for the barrel. Af...

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

Me: What’s a pirates favorite letter?

Unwitting person just living their life: R?

Me: R’s what you’d think but it’s the C they love!

My new and 100% original (and truly terrible) COVID pirate joke...

How did the pirates manage to avoid the pandemic?

They cove-hid.

Where do pirates go to play games?

The Arrrrrrr-cade!

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

 

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

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