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Blackbeard Jokes

Blackbeard is in the bath and he finds 10 new moles on his back.

Being a health concious pirate, he books an appointment with his dermatologist to get them checked out. The dermatologist takes a look and says "Well, cap'n, i've done a thorough examination and i'm pretty sure they're benign"



Blackbeard replies "Arrrrrr, can ye check again? I'm sure ...

What do you call Blackbeard's lullabies?

ASM-Arr!

Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten

As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.

"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher

'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior

"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages

BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."

"Stop...

What did Blackbeard say when he turned 80 years old?

“Aye, matey.”

Blackbeard goes into a bank...

Blackbeard goes into a bank looking to secure a loan for a new ship. The banker nods and says

"Yes everything is in order. You'll be gettin' the standard 3.14% interest rate."

Blackbeard raises an eyebrow at that.

"The standard rate? What's that mean?"

"3.14%. You know.....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Captain Blackbeard and his first mate Kelly capture a ship searching for precious jewels...

The ship is carrying three groups: guides, soldiers, and miners. They are transferring the three groups over in three boats. During the transfer, the boat with the guides capsizes, followed by the soldiers, but the miners cross safely.
A bloom of jellyfish passes by and stings the men in the wat...

What do you call Blackbeard’s average for counting circles?

His Pi-rate.

What did the crew do when Blackbeard died?

Switched on the auto-pirate.

Some inmates claimed Blackbeard was best...

but I don't believe in cons' piracy theories.

BlackBeard the pirate visited his doctor about some moles on his back he'd been worrying about.

Doc - "It's ok Blackbeard, they're benign"
Blackbeard - "Count them again me heartie, I think there be ten!"...

Why did Blackbeard cross the road?

To indicate where the treasure is buried.

A little boy with a speech impediment goes trick or treating as a pirate...

He gets to the first house and an old lady answers the door. She says,

"Well aren't you cute. Who are you dressed as?"

He replies,

"I'm a birate! I got my barrot, my bword and my batch!" , pointing to the stuffed parrot on his shoulder, waving his sword and pointing to his eye...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Blackbeard say to the girl who was dressed as a sexy pirate for Halloween?

"Land Hoe!"

What’s a pirate’s favorite Beatles song?

“Blackbeard singing in the dead of night…”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Pirate walks into a bar

(The funniest joke my friend told me, hope it hasn't been posted here before)

A Pirate enters a bar and goes to the bartender to ask for a drink.

The bartender eyes the pirate and asks him how he ended up looking like that.

"Ah you must mean the peg-leg, me lad. 'Tis a fine tale...

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Blackbeard you've been selected as the pirate of the year and have won a two week Caribbean cruise!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An intern's first day on a pirate ship...

A pirate and his protege are together on a ship. The protege asks the pirate, "Barnabus, how did you get that peg leg?"
The pirate replied "I was in a rigorous battle, attempting to plunder another ship. Out of nowhere came a cannonball, and blew my leg square off!"
"Well then, how did you acq...

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