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A group of blokes were down the pub downing a few schooners.

One of the blokes goes "I don't understand. I roll into the garage all quiet. Nice and light on the breaks. Get to the door and gently move the cat. Quietly open the door head inside and shut it with hardly a sound. Take my boots off and tip toe down the hall and slip into bed and every time the wif...

Why are there no schooners in heaven?

Because the whaling is done in hell.

A schooner, a clipper and a junk sail into a bar,

All hands lost.

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The Salesman

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad.

The boss lik...

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A Sydney pub owner notices a woman walk into his pub...

It's a working class bar that's a bit run down, and the woman is not only gorgeous, she's far too well dressed to be in a place like his.
She walks up to the bar and he asks her: what'll it be? She replies: 10 schooners of Reschs, please.
He thinks it a bit of an odd request, 10 serves of 37...

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A young salesman moves to the big city

He wants a job with the biggest department store. So he meets with the manager of the store and the manager asks him "so what makes you think you'd be so good at sales?"

"Because I am good at figuring out what people might want" said the young sales boy.

The manager decides to giv...

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A Peg-Legged, Hook-Handed, One-Eyed Pirate...

After thirteen months of sailing the seven seas, a battle-worn schooner filled to the brim with booty and booze makes port in the rag-tag pirate isle of Tortuga.

The captain - a buccaneer known the world over for his utter lack of mercy, his terrible greed, and his hearty girth - lumbers off ...

Do you have a favorite boat joke?

No? Well you will schooner or later.

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