Schooner Jokes

One of the blokes goes "I don't understand. I roll into the garage all quiet. Nice and light on the breaks. Get to the door and gently move the cat. Quietly open the door head inside and shut it with hardly a sound. Take my boots off and tip toe down the hall and slip into bed and every time the wif... read more

It's a working class bar that's a bit run down, and the woman is not only gorgeous, she's far too well dressed to be in a place like his.
She walks up to the bar and he asks her: what'll it be? She replies: 10 schooners of Reschs, please.
He thinks it a bit of an odd request, 10 serves of 37... read more

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. At the end of his first day on the job his boss walked up to him and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff makes 20 or 30 sales a ... read more

He wants a job with the biggest department store. So he meets with the manager of the store and the manager asks him "so what makes you think you'd be so good at sales?"

"Because I am good at figuring out what people might want" said the young sales boy.

The manager decides to giv... read more

After thirteen months of sailing the seven seas, a battle-worn schooner filled to the brim with booty and booze makes port in the rag-tag pirate isle of Tortuga.

The captain - a buccaneer known the world over for his utter lack of mercy, his terrible greed, and his hearty girth - lumbers off ... read more