What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students?

Watch closely. I’m only going to do this once.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind Pilot walks into the plane waiving his walking stick....

Passengers, All look at each other in disbelief.

Flight Attendant, gets on the PA and announces , "Ladies and Gentlemen as you can see the captain is legally blind, but I assure you he is one of the best pilots with over 6,000 successful flights."

Next the Co-Pilot makes his way to the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blind pilots

A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.

As the ...

Why are drone pilots considered snobs?

Because they look down on everyone.

Blind pilots

So i went flying. I entered the airplane looked for my seat and sat down, just as every usual flight.
Suddenly I see the pilots entering. They both are wearing sunglasses and blind sticks.
I asked the stewardess: "sorry, who are these two? They cant be our pilots, can they?"
"those are one ...

Two Ryanair pilots, Murphy and Seamus, are flying a Ryanair Ltd. jet on its final approach at Cork Airport.

Two Ryanair pilots, Murphy and Seamus, are flying a Ryanair Ltd. jet on its final approach at Cork Airport.

Murphy says: “BuayJesus! Maury an' Josefff! Look how short this runway is.”

Seamus replies: “Yes, but look how fookin' wide it is!”

A requirement to be a pilot is to be good at basic math

So I asked a couple pilots what 300 + 90 was and they all said 30. I guess they are not that smart after all.

Two blind pilots enter a plane.

They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the
plane starts to move, the passengers are
uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it
Stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets
Smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing
towards a fence.

The passengers start shrieking and s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you ever learn about how the WWII Kamikaze pilots were chosen?

The bombing of Pear Harbor had been planned out a year in advance.

Until Japan put the plan into action they held studies on their pilots and soldiers

After some psychological tests they found the troops that were suicidal and were hoping being in war would get them killed

And ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pilot and his coffee

Pilot: “Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome aboard Silver Jet Airlines. Our flight from Melbourne to Los Angeles will take around 14 hours, so make yourself comfortable and enjoy the flight.”

After the Pilots announcements, all Stewardesses start giving the safety instructions.

Whil...

Two Polish pilots are bringing the plane in for a landing...

...The plane hits the runway. They don’t have enough room to stop and they smash into the terminal.

One pilot turns to the other and says, “Man, that was a short runway.”

The other pilot says, “Yeah, but it sure was wide though!”

Many pilots end up using drugs...

Its easy for them to get high.

My grandad killed 50 German pilots in WW2

He wasn't a very skilled mechanic.

Three pilots died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.....

**'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to**
**get into heaven.'**


**The Army helicopter pilot thumbed through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.**


**It...

Why are most stormtrooper pilots from Thailand?

Because they're natural Thai fighters

That's an old one, wonder how many get it

What do F-18 pilots and internet addicts have in common?

Both break out in cold sweat when they see NO CARRIER.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The airplane is already full, passengers seated, but the cockpit is empty

Suddenly the rear door of the plane opens, and the two pilots make their way in - one is using a blind man cane, the other a guide dog. Slowly they make their way forward through the aisle in the general laughter of the passengers.

But the laughter dies down as the pilots enter the cockpit an...

2 pilots meet

300 people died

How many pilots do you need for good music?

Well, at least 22.

Why did pilots decide to unionize?

They couldn’t pass up this golden airport unity!

=D

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Engineer 1: we need a name for the front of the plane where the pilots sit

Engineer 2: dickhole

Engineer 1: almost

My grandfather killed 43 German pilots during World War 2.

Honestly though it’s on them for making an alcoholic a Luftwaffe mechanic

I made a website for Kamikaze pilots.

There's no landing page.

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