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Pg Jokes

Request: PG Pirate Jokes

I have two jokes that I use a bunch and requesting a third.

1. What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday?
Ayyyy, matey

2. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You think it be R, but my first love be the C

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hot neighbor (PG-13)

She lives right across the street.

I can see her house from my living room.

I watched as she got home from work this evening.

I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.

She knocked on my door...

I rushed to open it.

She looks at me...

The deep hole [PG]

Two guys, Jim and Dwight, were out for a hike. While on their jaunt they came across a pitch black hole the size of a minivan. Amazed Dwight walked carefully to the edge. He looked into the utter darkness and exclaimed "Woah! Hey Jim, how deep do you think this goes??"


Jim saunt...

Who isn't allowed to watch PG movies?

Orphans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A PG-13 Dad Joke

A husband and wife are sitting at a hospital, gazing at their newborn first child, and the man says, "You know what this means, right?"

"What?"

The man smiles at her and says blissfully, "I'm a motherfucker."

Movie ratings are an indication of who gets the girl

* Rated G - the prince gets the girl.
* Rated PG - the hero gets the girl.
* Rated R - the villain gets the girl.
* Rated X - everyone gets the girl!

Yo mama PG-13

Yo mama so fat your father died in 69.

If PG&E goes through with the planned outage...

...then I guess we're powerless to stop them.

What was the PG pirates ship called?

The Censor Ship!

A sheep and a hole [PG]

Two campers are out walking around, and come across a huge hole in the ground. The first camper goes up to the hole and says "wow, I wonder how deep this is?" The second camper picks up a rock, chucks it in the hole, puts his ear down and waits to hear it hit the bottom. Nothing. The first campe...

With the crisis in Northern California one could argue PG&E is utilizing its talents.

They are pulling a total power move.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the Pedophile's movie rated PG-13?

It only had minor nudity.

PG 13 movies can show literally hundreds of human beings getting slaughtered and nobody bats an eye. But you drown just one dog...

and they ask you to leave the pool.

Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Need a good PG rated joke for a class...anybody have one?

I've been scouring the posts on here but a lot of them are highly sexual/not appropriate.

Have to give a joke for my Toastmasters class. Ideas?

I feel sorry for orphans.

There are plenty of great PG films.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme

Courtesy of Kurt Vonnegut in Jailbird pg 184!

My blind daughter has a joke for you guys!

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What do you call a pig with no eyes?

Pg.

If you added a single F-word to a Jeeves book

Would that make it PG-13 Wodehouse?

Orphan joke

Why aren’t orphans allowed to watch most movies? Because their rated PG )parental guidance.)

What rating do pirate movies always get?

PG-13

If The Jungle Book were written by George R.R. Martin...

Bagheera would have died saving Mowgli from the snake, Kaa. Mowgli would have fallen while fetching honey for Baloo and become paralyzed. Kaa would have been beheaded by a bitter rival from House Anaconda. Raksha, sending her cubs to seek refuge in the jungle, dies at the hands (paws) of Shere Khan....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the Pearly Gates

An Evangelical Christian dies and is taken up to the Pearly Gates where St Peter is waiting to greet him. St Peter informs him that he has one last wish he can request before stepping through the Gates. The Evangelical thinks about it for a minute, looks at St Peter and says, "You know, there is one...

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