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I remember when porn genres were tame, none of that freak nasty stuff like furries, ugly bastards, vore, and other weird fetishes.

Seriously, what is the world cumming to?

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A Recently Divorced Man on an Adventure

A man and his wife got a divorce after 15 years of marriage. After a month of feeling down he decided he needed to get over it. One Friday night he and a mate go to a brothel to have some fun. He asks the madam for a girl who is adventurous and special as he has had blowjobs and missionary sex for h...

I heard this joke sometime ago...

A man walks into a bar with a crocodile in a leash...

The bartender says: “Woah, you can’t bring that in here!”

And the man says: “It’s OK, my crocodile is tame... look!”

*and he unzips his pants and proceeds to put his d!ck in the crocodiles mouth.
The crocodile doesn’t reac...

A woman has a failing marriage, and she feels bad about it.

Her husband won't listen to her or acknowledge her, or anything. All he does is sit on the couch watching football and waiting for meals. The woman decides to go to the pet store to find a pet.

At the store, she sees all sorts of animals, such as fish, dogs, cats, parrots, and even a horse. S...

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Pet Alligator

A man walks into a bar with a live alligator under his arms. Dumps the animal on the bar counter and asks for a beer. The bartender almost shits his pants and shouts: "What the hell is wrong with you, get that thing out of here!!"

Man: "Don't worry, I tamed my pet gator very well and he won't...

How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?

Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

Everybody says that garbanzo beans and chickpeas are the same thing.

But I've never paid $25 to have a garbanzo bean on my chest.

This is pretty tame for me, but i can see how it might offend some, hence the NSFW tag.

A rabbi, a priest and a minister want to see who is best at their job...

So they decide to go out into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. A few days later, the the priest and the minister bump into each other at the hospital, where each person is being treated for their particular injuries. They then tell each other about their experience.

The prie...

A farmer purchased a new oxen to help plow his field.

The animal hadn’t been well-tamed and the farmer struggled to keep the beast under control. One day, the oxen freaked out and started tearing through the field, dredging up all of the seeds and plants that they had already sewn into the soil. The farmer’s corn and soybean plants were all destroyed. ...

Can he tame the crazy dictator from the North?

The whole world is hoping for Kim Jong-Un.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar

They all begin discussing their own churches and synagogue. As the night goes on, they drink more and more, and the discussion starts to turn competitive. Each starts to boast about how eloquent they are, and how great they are at converting non believers. Eventually, the bartender gets sick of it. ...

"Can I get a pet fox?"

While browsing the forums I read a simple post, the question "Can I get a pet fox?"

Clicking inside, I read the top answer. "You can't tame a fox, but you can leash it to a post." Which I thought was a really succinct and apt commentary on how exotic pet ownership is sometimes unfair to speci...

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A man walks into a bar with a crocodile

The bar tender says ‘oi you get out, we don’t allow those in here’. The man replies
‘Oh no don’t worry he’s perfectly tame, look I’ll show’.
The man then proceeds to unzip his trousers and take off his pants. The crocodile opens its mouth and the man dangles his balls inside the jaw.
Afte...

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A guy walks into a bar with an alligator.

It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."
The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it o...

What do you call a domesticated Chevrolet?

A tame impala.

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A man walks into a bar with a crocodile

The Bartender says,
"Hey, you can't have a crocodile in my bar, get him out"!
The man says,
"No, he is tame, I can prove it."
The man lifts the crocodile up as the bartender says,
"I don't care, get him out of here"!
The man sets the crocodile up onto the bar and unzips his pant...

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Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."

The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."



"Yes I do!"



"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"



"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, an...

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A cowboy enters a saloon with a living crocodile. He sits down at the bar, puts the crocodile on the bar and asks for a beer.

“Hey!” yells the bartender. “Away with that beast, that thing is dangerous!”

“Don’t be crazy,” said the cowboy, “this animal is as tame as a dog.”

“Get rid of that crocodile now,” said the bartender again, “it’s too dangerous to have a living crocodile sitting around in my bar. If yo...

An engineer dies and goes to heaven.

When he arrives St. Peter looks at the book and scratches his head. He says 'You were involved in some great civil engineering projects so I ought to let you into heaven but you were also involved in weapons programs that resulted in great loss of life' 'I am sorry but you will have to go to hell'. ...

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I used to be into kinky stuff....

When I was younger I admit I used to have a kinky side. At first, like most young people exploring their sexuality, it started off with pretty tame stuff. Handcuffs....a little whipping....you know, BDSM.


But that grew boring eventually and I began to search for something new that coul...

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A young man desperately seeking shelter

A young man desperately seeking shelter for the night in the middle of nowhere somehow comes across an old two storeyed wooden house in the woods. Knocking on the door, he is greeted by an ancient Chinese kung fu master and his two beautiful daughters.

"May I have shelter for the night, maste...

A man enters a pet shop...

...and wants to buy a polar bear. The shop assistant takes the man to the bear's cage and says: "The polar bear is absolutely tamed, but whatever you do, don't touch his nose."
The man goes home with his new pet and everything is OK. Until the man can't no longer withstand: "I have to try what ha...

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So a man walks into a bar with a crocodile...

... and the bartender tells him that he can't have a crocodile in the bar because it is a safety hazard. The man insisted that the crocodile was tame and said that he could prove it. The man proceeded to whip out his balls and place it in the crocodile's mouth. His let his balls rest in the crocodil...

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So a guy walks into a bar with..

Edit: changing hotdog to cum gun (lol thanks Pete)

his pet aligator, the bartender looks at him and says
"Sir you can't bring such a dangerous animal in here" to which the man replied
"oh don't worry he's perfectly tamed" to everyone in the bar - "Look I'll show you"
so he proceeds...

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A man walks into a bar....

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. This thing is huge, It’s about 10-12 feet long. An absolute monster. The bartender sees it and he starts freaking out and yells, “Dude you got to get that freaking thing out of here, someone is going to get bit by that beast, and I am the one who is going to...

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A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash...

A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash. He walks over to the bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry sir. You can't bring that alligator in here! It's a dangerous animal, and you're scaring all of the patrons! True enough, the man looked around, and noticed that everyone ...

Farmer meets with Banker annually

The Farmer has to meet with the banker, talk about the crops for the year, talk about grain prices, and try to forecast the year's output to plan out expenses for the year.

When the banker arrives at the farm he notices a very tame and friendly pig, running around as if nothing's wrong, had ...

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A guy brings an alligator to the bar...

and the bartender says "Get that thing out of here immediately."
The guy says "Don't worry, its tamed and I'll prove it!"
So the guy tells the alligator to open his mouth and much to everyone's surprise the gator complies.
"You think thats impressive?" asks the guy.
He then proceeds to...

A man decides to go horseback riding near the Grand Canyon

The man walks into a ranch and asks them for a nice mellow horse to go on a day ride with. The rancher says, "Sir I have just the horse for you. It was raised at the monastery just down the road and is very tame and obedient". Soon the horse is saddled up and the man is on it. The rancher says, "Now...

A circus is looking for a new lion tamer...

Two people audition for the job, a man and a beautiful woman. The circus owner cautions them, "This is a very dangerous job, and my last tamer got eaten."
Neither are fazed by his warnings, and the owner lets the two try taming the lion. The woman goes first, and steps into the cage.
The lion ...

My Father called my entire family out of bed to hear this joke, so you guys better enjoy it

"How do you catch a unique rabbit?"

Unique up on it!

"How do you catch a tame rabbit?"

Tame way! Unique up on it!

I honestly groaned when he told it...

A man buys a second hand parrot

He brings the parrot home, and discovers that the parrot likes to swear a lot. He is not very happy with that, and tells the parrot:

"I will cover your cage with a blanket and you can sit in the dark until you stop swearing."

As soon as he covers the cage up the parrots starts getting ...

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ATTACK DOG

A man wanted a big, veracious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises. After they ha...

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A couple in an old folks home

There was a social night planned at an old folks home. There was dancing, a punch bowl, snacks, etc... It was a pretty tame event.

Two of the residents, an elderly man and elderly woman were bored and decided that they needed more excitement so they snuck off to a utility closet so they could...

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