Ng Jokes

It’s the 7.55 service from Paddington to Plymouth and a man
finds himself sat across the aisle from a beautiful woman.
She is reading a large book and as he looks closer at it he
realises it’s a book on sexual statistics.
“That looks an interesting book,” he remarks.
She smiles at him... read more

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.

What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.

But now I’ve got a full time job,
To find the gosh darn thing.

It used to be embar... read more

A prostitute will stop fuck!ng you after you're dead.

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....



Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty.. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.





Daddy Bear arrives at the big table... read more

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell fast asleep.
When Brian awoke a few hours later he found a strange man was standing at the end of his bed weari... read more