A man goes to his veterinarian and complains, "I think my goldfish is having seizures."

"He seems fine now," the doctor replies. "Yeah," the man says, "but just wait until I take him out of the bowl."

I've been suffering a lot of seizures recently...

...so far they've taken my house, my car and my boat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy with seizures came up to a girl and said

"Every other guy can be a dildo, but I can be your vibrator"

A crafting website for people who have seizures

Epiletsy

So i told a colorful joke to a guy who has seizures

I guess the joke was too good he died laughing

According to experts, I've heard that marijuana can stop seizures...

And now, according to the CDC, romaine lettuce can stop Caesar's.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a corn farmer with seizures and a prostitute with diarrhea?

One shucks between fits, the other fucks betweens shits

Epileptic Santa

He seizures when you're sleeping.

What is an epileptic's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures

The worst part about my wife being diagnosed with epilepsy is

when I ask her where she wants to get pizza, she can't decide between Shakey's and Little Seizures

What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures?

Narcolepsy

If I have seizures brought on by soda...

Do I have Pepsilepsy?

Where to epileptics gamble?

Seizures palace

Two brain surgeons are discussing cases over lunch.

Surgeon 1: I just don't understand it. I treated a monk with epilepsy by implanting a seizure inhibitor device - the one with a microcomputer that sends out current to negate the seizure. It's working perfectly and his seizures are gone, but he keeps putting acorns and stuff into hollow spaces in tr...

What was Juicewrld's favourite restaurant?

Lil Seizures

I'm going to start a treatment center for children with epilepsy

I'll call it little seizures.

What's a toddler with epilepsy's favorite pizza restaurant?

Little seizures.

See you all in hell.

What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures

What do you call a support group for child epileptics?

Little Seizures

When I bought pizza today my hands started to spasm

You could say I got Little Seizures.

I have a short friend who's epileptic and makes pizza for a living

I call him Little Seizures

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