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Seizures Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy with seizures came up to a girl and said

"Every other guy can be a dildo, but I can be your vibrator"

My grandma flaps her legs during her seizures

We all get a kick out of it

My dad suffers from seizures...

...so far they've taken his car, his house and his boat

A man goes to his veterinarian and complains, "I think my goldfish is having seizures."

"He seems fine now," the doctor replies. "Yeah," the man says, "but just wait until I take him out of the bowl."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a corn farmer with seizures and a prostitute with diarrhea?

One shucks between fits, the other fucks betweens shits

A crafting website for people who have seizures

Epiletsy

Epileptic Santa!

"He seizures when you're sleeping."

According to experts, I've heard that marijuana can stop seizures...

And now, according to the CDC, romaine lettuce can stop Caesar's.

So i told a colorful joke to a guy who has seizures

I guess the joke was too good he died laughing

If I have seizures brought on by soda...

Do I have Pepsilepsy?

My friend is a little person...

He's epileptic and delivers pizzas for a living.

His name is Kevin, but I like to call him Little Seizures.

What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures?

Narcolepsy

Why did the police chief assign the epileptic cop to K9 patrol?

They made a perfect team. The K9 did the searches and the cop did the seizures!

What's a toddler with epilepsy's favorite pizza restaurant?

Little seizures.

See you all in hell.

What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures

I took my goldfish to the vet.

“He’s having seizures.”

The vet responded, “He looks fine to me.”

“Sure,” I said, “but wait until I get him out of the bowl.”

When I bought pizza today my hands started to spasm

You could say I got Little Seizures.

What was Juicewrld's favourite restaurant?

Lil Seizures

An ambulance was called to a local restaurant this afternoon.

When the paramedics walked in, the saw two men on the floor having seizures. The paramedics split up, each going to one of the men. Suddenly, both men stopped their convulsing. The paramedics asked if they were all right.

"Oh, we're fine. We both have epilepsy, but we don't let it interfere w...

I'm going to start a treatment center for children with epilepsy

I'll call it little seizures.

What do epileptic children have in common with cheap pizza?

Little Seizures

Two brain surgeons are discussing cases over lunch.

Surgeon 1: I just don't understand it. I treated a monk with epilepsy by implanting a seizure inhibitor device - the one with a microcomputer that sends out current to negate the seizure. It's working perfectly and his seizures are gone, but he keeps putting acorns and stuff into hollow spaces in tr...

What do you call a support group for child epileptics?

Little Seizures

How did Stalin die?

Seizures

So a blonde girl takes her goldfish to the vet...

...and she says to the veterinarian, "Hey, I think my goldfish has epilepsy; it has these awful seizures!"

The veterinarian takes one look at the fish and replies, "Well, it looks alright to me."

The blonde replies angrily, "Well Jesus, let me get it out of the bowl first!"

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