What's the difference between the hentai I watch during auto-erotic asphyxiation and an artichoke?


One's an art I choke to, and the other's an artichoke too.

My roommate is into auto-erotic asphyxiation, but he's also suicidal.

I can never tell if he's coming or going.

I found a new hobby! It's autoerotique asphyxiation.

I'm so excited, I can hardly breathe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: Do not forget to breathe.

Death by asphyxiation may cause semen discharge making it look like you died of wanking.

A vegetarian was into erotic asphyxiation, but he died.

He artichoked.

I could talk about auto-erotic asphyxiation until I'm blue in the face.

It's to die for.

What’d they call the movie about auto erotic asphyxiation?

Die Hard

Some guys at my school got caught trying autoerotic asphyxiation

One got suspended, the others got off.

My depressed roommate is into autoerotic asphyxiation

Every time I see a noose around his head, I don't know if he's coming or going

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Seeing someone struggle with auto-eroctic asphyxiation is confusing

I can never tell If there cuming or going.

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I think my girlfriend wants me to try autoerotic asphyxiation...

... every time I talk to her about sex she leaves me hanging!

Why is everyone always late to Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Anonymous meetings?

Because they're all tied up, but coming soon.

You know, I’m into auto erotic asphyxiation, but there is one downside.

You can never really tell if your coming or going.

A Plant's Guide to Autoerotic Asphyxiation

By Artichoke

Did you hear about the man who was into asphyxiation and vegetables?

He liked being artichoked.

Why is singing like autoerotic asphyxiation?

Because sometimes you just gotta belt it out

What do you call someone who gets off by someone yelling in their ear and strangling them?

Otoerotic asphyxiation.

What do you call a guy sitting by the river with his pole and some string?

Fishing Rod

What do you call a guy sitting in the closest with his pole and some string?

Auto-e-Rod-ic Asphyxiation

A man named Ralph decides that he can’t stand his wife any longer, and decides to hire a hitman.

He checks the newspaper one morning and sees an ad that says, “Get any job done for $1.” Ralph excitedly calls the number from the ad, and a man answers.

Man: “Hello, this is Artie. How can I help you?”

Ralph: “Hi there, I saw your ad in the paper and was wondering if you could help m...

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The coroner

So the cop asks the Coroner, "What's the story with that female we pulled out of the river yesterday?"

The Coroner says, "Cause of death was blunt force trauma and asphyxiation."

The cop asks, "How long was she in the river?"

The Coroner says, "About six days. Her clitoris was l...

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Not all of the weird sexual stuff you hear about is as good as it's cracked up to be...

I mean you can tell me how great autoerotic asphyxiation is till you're blue in the face.

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Due to grocery stores switching from paper bags to plastic bags, a serious problem has arisen.

An unprecedented number of ugly girls have died of asphyxiation during sex.

I watched Die Hard the other day...

Was disappointed. The movie had *nothing* to do with autoerotic asphyxiation.

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